Wealth of the Past


Nanny and Gabriel

Boy, this topic is getting so much great feedback! This is Little Drake with his Nanny, last year, 10/2005.

You know, I wouldn’t consider myself an advocate for the elderly; but I believe that there is a wealth of resources in our elderly population. They have so much to give and the young seem indifferent. There is another cliché out there, and that is “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. You know what I mean? Children learn from their parents. When children first start out, they have no fear, or fear very little. That includes looking upon an old person. What is your first impression when you first take in the appearance of an old person’s skin? Is it ugly? Are you afraid? Are you curious? Children, especially young children are very curious. I don’t believe that they find anything “ugly”, per se. They are so curious; they will look, unabashedly, right at you, looking and looking, exploring. Now, if an overly anxious parent always prevents the child from exploring, I believe that child will develop the wrong impression about old people who the parent makes unapproachable to the kid. I think this is how it starts. Of course, later on, the kid soaks up the example of the parents… etc, etc.

I had the opportunity to live with my, then, future mother in law for awhile after she had just lost her husband of 50+ years. I listened to stories upon stories of her/their youth. I listened to simple wisdom from the mouth of a woman born in the depression, lived through war, and made much from literally nothing. Before she married, she actually was able to buy a house, all on her own; and built up from there. They had 5 kids, she did not work, he quit the merchant marines to stay with his family and took a couple of security guard jobs. How did they do it? I know that it cannot be done today…. Well this can be a whole other topic, but I just wanted to give you an idea of the fact that when we look at an old person, we simply cannot know their history and what they have accomplished with their life. What do we think when we see an old person? I know that most people do not see anything of value.

I was blessed the other day to observe my son with his “nanny”. He was smiling ear to ear, touching her skin and exploring her physical-ness. We are so lucky to have her with us so that he can become pleasantly familiar with her, an older person. Old people will not be an oddity for him to fear and avoid.

I have a thing for “touching” and appreciating skin; and I have what you would call an “artist’s eye”. In college, I took a life drawing class and we drew several models of different ages; so I have an objective perspective when looking at naked bodies. I do not see seduction; and yet I can appreciate sexy bodies whether it be male OR female. It seems that my vision can penetrate or pan in really close to the surface of the body; and I want to touch it. Every bump, every hair, every skin anomaly reveals itself to me, forming the whole. Wrinkles tell a story all their own. Each crevice, each age spot tells the story of an individual filled with the richness of life. A tree earns another ring with each year of it’s life. We earn wrinkles. (Ha, this is something that I’ve got to tell my mother in law because she is always commenting about her skin) Ever see a picture of an old Native American Indian? I see wisdom, integrity, calmness that can weather any storm.

As you already know, I am an old mommie; but if I became a mom earlier in life, I would have been terrible. It’s only now, after living half my life, that I feel confident that I have a lot to offer this kid of mine. I have more patience than I EVER did… AND… since I have already had the opportunity to live a selfish life, I can settle down, and be ready to sacrifice and give my life to my little one… though I balk at times, I am really happy with my life. I do need my “me” time, but I am content to find it in a comfortable chair, in the corner, knitting or reading. I am happy to go for a drive by myself for a couple of hours, or hit the craft stores and coffee shops (to knit).

How many times has it happened in your life that an older person, usually a parent, will give you advice and you reject it, needing to be your “own person”? What usually happens is that our way is not the best way and we suffer for it, only to come to the conclusion that the advice we were first given was the better way to go. So we learn sometimes too late.

Yes, today’s youth are missing out on a lot.

‘Nuff said.

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About dragonmommie

I am a wife and mother of an amazing eight year old boy. When school starts, I don the hat of “advocate”. This is very new to me and so, like everything else in my life right now, a necessary transition. I can see already that I will be honing my communication skills as well as sharpening my assertiveness. I am married to an amazing man, who, spoils me to no end. Not in a material way... NO I'm wrong. When he can, he does spoil me materially as he is well acquainted with my infatuation and love all electronic gadgets. I am a self professed EGG, “Electronic Gadget Groupie.” The most important way he spoils me is with taking over attending to our son's needs. My eye has always been caught by sparkly things, the beautiful, and the unique.

Posted on Thursday, November 2, 2006 ~, in motherhood, Pictures, Rants/Opinions, Society & Culture, Uncategorized, Words Of Wisdom. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. Oooooooooooooooohhh Dragonmommy I LOVE that picture. I will save it on my compute.

    I am sorry to not have come back to your blog as I intended, yesterday. I went out with my mom and then when I came back I typed up my nanowrimo of the day, until 2am.

    I used to have a great relationship with my paternal grandma, before one of her daughters decided that grandma’s appartment wasn’t very clean (WHATEVAH) and she was “forced” to move into… not a home but a medical parking space for the elderly. Far from my home, and closer to the daughter’s home. It was a very tragic time for me.

    I had a very special relationship with her because I treated her as an adult. I listened to her. I had wild fun with her. I wasn’t condescending like her children. My grandma has Alzeihmer but it wasn’t problematic when I was with her. She was relaxed with me, and when she’s relaxed she has a good memory. She’s not confused. Now she hates where she lives and gets all bizarre about it apparently. Even aggressive.

    She was apparently “agressive” when she was moved into her new, new “place” (a 10 feet by 8 feet room). Helloooo!!!!??? Wouldn’t you be ? How would you feel if someone took you out of your appartment, without a notice. They came in one day and said she would “go out for a little adventure” and she was to never return.

    She was moved once and then once again – always into these “parking space” for the elderly. Always further and further from me.

    Now she “lives” at 1h30 from me and I can’t drive there.

    That’s a tough subject for me.

  2. Ho Draggonmommy, I was logged in as Grace cause I was helping out with something technical on her blog. Oh my God! The last post was by chill truly.

    Can you fix that ? Before Grace comes in…?

    Oooohhhh… you can see the IP adresses are wholy different LOL…

    (now I will go shoot myself…)

  3. Dragonmommy is that you on the right ? (on the picture).

  4. I made a film with my grandma one day. I never edited it. I used a really good camera from school. I made tons of closeup. My grandma’s angelic hair, her skin. I liked to touch her. I liked to sit next to her on her bed and press cheeks, my arm around her shoulders. I miss her.

  5. Hi Chill…
    Sorry I can’t post a long reply to your comments. I’ve been surfing and just saw them.. but hubby wants the computer.

    Sorry I can’t change the name on your first comment. Oh, and that is not me, but my sister in law who posed, but I wanted one just of Nanny and my son. Will check ya later.

  6. Can you delete the comments then…? I copied and pasted them on file, so I will post again. 🙂
    tks

  7. Say, why do you call your boy The Drake ?

    curious George here…

    ps : he’s sooo handsome! But your grandma too, she’s so beautiful!

  8. LOL It’s ok Chill 🙂 Dragonmommie…Chill is my ‘techie’ and is teaching me all about HTML and such. I’m sure she spent hours in the GUD stuff, adjusting and correcting my practice.

    Both Grandma AND the little DragonMaster are just lovely!

    xoxox the “real” Grace 😉

  9. Well actuallll-ly. This morning… HEUM… HEUM… HEUUUU…. Grace. I was correcting spelling mistakes in my… comments. That’s why I was logged in your account. LOL…

    Thanks for your comprehension giirls!

  10. Hi Guys…
    Good… Thanks, Grace. I really wouldn’t want to delete your post, chill.

    I call my son Little Drake because I call my husband Drake, or Big Drake when I talk about them together. The reason I do that is because the word “drake” is the male term for “dragon”… get it? Ha! Queen word for the female animal.

    When I started my blog, I wanted a sort of theme. The first blog I ever stumbled upon, on wordpress, was one that was all pirates. Sort of role playing, too. Plus, I notice that a lot of people, mommies mostly, use abbreviations or other words for the members of their families. I always loved dragons, I collect them, and it’s my real email address, “dragonmommie@gmail.com”. Don’t know if that is visible anywhere, but I know that I didn’t block it, so it must be okay to print it here.

    Gotta run….. I am not techie at all… but I am learning! What is a GUD?

  11. Oh, that woman in the picture is my husband’s mom. She is 85 yrs. old and Gabriel (Little Drake) is her 15th grandchild.

  12. I took the liberty to copy your addy and put it in some safe place… in case it eventually disappears.
    I am not an english speaker and I had heard the word “drake” before. I read it in a book. And I didn’t know what it meant. I liiike it. Senior Drake and junior Drake… Naaa, Big Drake and Little Drake. Now, that sounds really good! Will go nanowrimo…… I know I keep repeating myself but I really love that picture. See you later!

  13. Chill…
    I am sure that your grandmother can still see you, and looks after you from wherever she is.

    I have some pics of my grandmother, too. I have a lot of regrets concerning her because I was too young and stupid to really appreciate her. We did not get along most of the time, but I know that I did love her… but was always too thick headed to give in. She taught me everything I know about cooking, baking, crafting, knitting, crochet…

    She also taught me a lot about really caring about your work and attending to details. What is that saying? The proof is in the details… or something like that. Well cared for details really can make or break the presentation of your efforts in any arena.

  14. Your post is such an inspiration plus it brings back many fond memories of the time I shared with my grandmother before she passed. The wisdom can only be earned through living a full life, with both ups and downs. Thanks for sharing this poignant part of your life.

    Great website!

  15. Hey Dragonmommie…GUD is, well GraceUpsideDown LOL 😉

    Heya, Gracie! 🙂 COOL website…love it that we share the same monikier…

  16. Gracie has such beautiful pictures of leaves. Love ’em.

  17. Thanks, Gracie, for your comments. Yes, I saw the leaves and they are beautiful.. My son has a thing about leaves from the first time he saw them from our window. I know that he will miss them when they are gone and I wonder how to explain it to him… well, it won’t matter because he really won’t understand, will he? Now when we go out, he picks them from the floor…. it’s, well, so cute.

    Yeah… I finally figured out what GUD is!

    DUH

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