……Thought I’d better write something, so just got Little Drake off to nap and I’ll write a little about last Sunday, when I was the cantor(ess?) for the mass. Serving the Lord through music, ah, for lack of better words, and time to think of them; serving Him through music brings me much joy. I have always felt it right, for me, that prayer and praise should be more of a “feeling” experience than a “wordy” one, though I am aware that the spoken word has power. For me, praising the Lord, even praying to Him, doesn’t come easily to me with words. I stand before Him and I am revealed. He knows already what I need, what my soul needs; all I need to do is trust. Through music my heart flows to Him, bringing everything of me, seen and unseen, my heart’s desire and all the waves of emotion inside me that can fill all the oceans of the earth.
I believe that God knows our thoughts, our desires, even before we do. Words of prayer do not resonate with me, but something flows through me when I am singing or just listening to music, especially the chants. It lifts my spirit, it does; and I believe that it’s a form or communication. The heart is revealed in music, whether happy, sad, angry, triumphant, in love or yearning for love. Everything is revealed in music. Lyrics are good, and I do require the lyrics to be of quality, along with the music before I will say that I like it. A song must stir me heart, mind, body and soul. When I sing or listen to music, I feel as if my body and spirit are lifted up, sliding along the threads of the song… the music carries me. All the better if there are no lyrics. I love Celtic music, pipes, rain sticks, chants, drums… Mickey Hart’s “Planet Drums”… oh man!
Last week was my once-a-year chance to sing the psalm. Very exciting and I got so very nervous though I have sung before in front of the very same people. Solo parts… this is when people get to see whether I actually have a voice that can stand by itself…. ugh… Though I know that this is a service to my God that I perform with love, you cannot be a public singer without your ego getting in there somewhere, at some point. Anyway, I practiced and practiced with the music director… who told me that the introduction will be the whole response part, and then I start. Another thing is that I had to remember where to take deeper breaths than normal to reach the high notes. Well, sadly to say, the pianist flubbed the introduction and that made me even more nervous… and well, that set the tone of the whole thing for me. I relaxed myself and continued… then I forgot to take the deep breaths and, though I made the notes, they cracked. Oh well, I acknowledge that I am not a trained vocalist AND, most importantly, my service was to the Lord. I believe that however it was delivered, the Lord accepts it with the love that it is intended. Plus, the music director makes us sing higher than our natural voices to get that church-feel!
If anyone is interested, our psalm was “Save Us O Lord” and that link is to the lyrics on a prior post of mine. I have not tried out the sonic song site yet… if anyone has, please let me know how they like it and how to get started… Thanks!