Monthly Archives: January 2007

Got No Feet Here


Yep, that’s correct. The ultrasound confirmed that I am not pregnant. They performed a Trans Vaginal Ultrasound. I guess there is not much to say about it… I should have brought my laptop with me yesterday because I went for coffee after and probably would have had lots to say. I’ll try to get it down now, but it’s hard to concentrate and get into the emotions with a rambling baby in my ear all day long.

The technician said that my Dr would have the results in a couple of days… shoot, I had to jump in there and ask if there was a baby in there and was told ‘no’. My first impression was of immense sadness. Somehow I feel that this was my last chance to have one, given the diabetes and my age. Maybe when I get this sugar under control it could be a different story, but I worry about the age thing and growing high risk of numerable possible defects.

My DH seems unconcerned and maybe I should take his lead. His approach to life has always been so simple and always on the money. I wonder, however, if he might be protecting his right to the marriage rites of the bedroom. He has never been one to be irresponsible, but he doesn’t seem to be considering the consequences of getting pregnant…. HA… maybe it’s because I am not getting my period. That is another thing. I need to find out why. On the one hand I am hoping that it’s my changes starting and on the other, I grieve for the babies at my breast that will never be if that is the case. In any case, I won’t get close to him at least until I have the mammogram, which is in another 7 days…. whoa… he’s been without for a few weeks now and the only hint of desire I see is that little smile and twinkle in his eyes when he kisses me goodnite. He’s so good.

So now, I will be focusing on wrestling with this diabetes. I have decided to do it the Atkins way. As it is, my Dr is telling me to avoid carbs, white flour, and anything that is refined and that is basically what Atkins is. Yesterday I followed it pretty well, except at the very end. After my ultrasound, I went to get supplies from the pharmacy for testing my blood sugar, which was around dinner time. I figured that I would be in and out of there because all they had to do was check to see if they had them, then put two boxes of supplies into a bag, then I pay and leave. They checked the inventory when I dropped off the Rx, then was told it would be at least an HOUR because they had a lot of people waiting.. .well, I only saw one person waiting… okay, I know that people are roaming around the store. Well, they made me wait the HOUR… I was on the verge of tears because I was starving by then and afraid that I was going to have some kind of diabetic fit, shakes, or whatever. I really wanted to blow up at the clerk, but didn’t. I am very proud of myself, people! The bad thing is that there was a Wendy’s right next door and I flew in there and got a Frescata ham and swiss sandwich combo and ate all of it. Got a diet soda and only had a few sips of that, but ate all of the fries which is a NO NO.

Just remembered that I was an hour late taking my second reading! Scrambled to the kitchen, took the reading, it was pretty high. As I was writing it down for my Dr, I realized that I took the reading at the wrong time. It was supposed to be 2 hours after lunch, and not breakfast. SO. I had to call Bayer to find out if I could delete that reading because it would screw up the 14 day average number. By the time I got through, I could not delete that one reading, but could delete all readings, which I opted to do because there was only one other reading saved. Okay, so now I must remember to do it later. I will schedule my lunch so that I do my sugar after I put Gabriel down to his nap… which means lunch will be during the 12 o’clock hour.

Remember when you are on a diet, and especially with diabetes, everything is focused on food… what to eat, when to eat. I must eat on a regular schedule… and make sure that I have snacks, which is on a schedule, too. I am really hungry now, but have to wait… but at least my meal is already made. Dinner from last night was chicken breasts cooked in plain tomato soup. What I am a bit concerned about is trying to eat veggies that are low in carbs… I don’t think that is possible. I think that I have to eat lettuce for two weeks before I am able to incorporate other, more interesting veggies. I just “discovered” collard greens! I passed them by every week, but then decided to try them because they have iron in them. I downloaded a couple of recipes and noted that one serving has at least 10 grams of carbs. So while I can have it, half of my carb allowance will be taken. I used 8 grams already for breakfast with cottage cheese and cream for coffee.

I can see that I really need to learn everything I can about carbs, fats (good/bad), and everything inbetween. As you can imagine, I am cramming like for an important test. Books, internet info, food plans, etc. These next two days are really important because these readings will probably guide my dr as to what course of action to take as far as meds or insulin goes. I will be as strict as I can be these two days because I really do not want insulin and if she prescribes it, I will try to get her to allow me to try and control it with diet. Two more weeks or so should not make that much of a difference, especially since I am not pregnant.

I’ve told my sister about this, but not anyone else. I really should tell my brother because he is also high risk. Oh, another good tidbit is that I found out that I can still donate both, whole blood and platelets. I called up the Blood Center of NJ today and got that info. I might hit a drive soon as they are in need of my blood type… but then again platelets are needed, too… we’ll see. Maybe I’ll even wait awhile. It was through my platelet donation that I found out about my sugar; so not only is it saving other lives, but it could save your own in the process!

Gotta run and make a phone call!

Continental Knitting Demo


I’ve decided to post the demo videos I come across so that when I am ready for them, all I have to do is go to one place.  I don’t think that I can make one page for it because, at least for youtube, it becomes a new post.  The category “video” should be enough to find them.

I’ve always wanted to learn the continental way of knitting.  It’s WAY more efficient to knit this way and a LOT faster.  Check it out for yourself.  This video is great because it shows different stitches, knit, purl, yarn overs… maybe more, I forgot because this video did not hit my blog until after I left the house today.  I still need to go for the sonogram today, but that is later this afternoon.  I probably won’t blog it until tomorrow or late tonight.

Continental knitting demo

Mission Accomplished & Diabetes Creeping In


My fantasy yarn project is completed! Very cool…. I must say, that there were NO fireworks, though….. just the fact that I finished it merits a pat on the back… the fact that my scarf/wrap will remain with me, merits a Yahoo! Remember when I started it, way back in December? I started it somewhere between this post, and this post.

Drop Stitch part In this pic, you can see that I am almost finished dropping all the stitches to create what is known in looming circles as the Matrix Stitch. You can see just how much wider the whole piece becomes after you drop the stitches. On the left, you can see the original width. This ends up being a really heavy piece of fabric. Oh, when you drop the stitches like this, blocking is not necessary…. very cool.

I was debating on what to do with the fringes. To fringe or not to fringe. I decided to fringe because I love fringes. Here is a pic:

Scarf/Wrap with Fringe I did not want an overabundance of fringes, so I put them only on the knit stitch matrix part. I decided to put one on each end of the “matrix”. I could not put only one on each one as the distance between them would’ve been too great. I still need to really size them up to make sure that all are as close to the same length as possible. Still, I am planning on wearing it to church tomorrow morning as I might be reading and want to look a little bit more dressed up than usual. Wow, you really cannot see the length here, but it measures a little longer than 70″, excluding fringe. Since it’s heavy, I am sure that gravity makes it stretch longer than that. I go overboard all the time because my mentality is, and always has been, more is better. Well, at least it’s mine and nobody needs to know that I just “winged it”. I still intend on taking another pic of it outside in full sun so you can get a nice idea of how it really sparkles and shimmers in daylight.

I should mention that nowhere online did I find instructions on how to do this. As a matter of fact, I do not think that you are supposed to do it after the fact of knitting it; but that is just me, doing something because nobody said that I can’t or shouldn’t. It worked out pretty well, so nothing lost and something gained.  **~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

Okay, I really didn’t want to make another post, but I want everyone to know that I am doing okay and getting used to the idea of being diabetic. I have not actually “done” anything yet, just reading what I can and getting ready mentally to take action. Don’t worry, I am not procrastinating because I really need to get every thing rolling by the end of next week. That is when my Dr wants me to call in two days of sugar readings. Also, I need to have a sonogram done by then to make sure that I am not pregnant so that she can Rx me medication.

Believe me, I want to get started quick, but to be truthful, I feel like I have no clue what to do… even though my Dr said that I should just avoid sugar and carbs. I bookmarked a diabetes site: American Diabetes Ass. & more importantly, Diabetes DIET from the Mayo Clinic. Finally, something substantial about food. This second site looks really useful…. feel free to check it out.

Que Sera Sera


cross

I apologize for posting this so late. I know that some of you were waiting to see whether I am prego or not. The test came back negative which means, no, I am not pregnant. The doctor wants me to have a back up test done, but I have a feeling that I am not having a baby. I want to thank everyone for their support and prayers for a favorable outcome.

Favorable? What does that mean? Are we happy about the results? I would not say that we are happy at all; but I can tell you I am relieved because a baby will not be subjected the diabetes corrupting his mother’s body. Diabetes that would all but guarantee the baby would be at high risk for the disease him or herself. Oh, no… not a chance that I’ll need another test to confirm that.

I have been thinking about the Julia Roberts character in Steel Magnolias. I think she had diabetes and ached for babies and had them, and she gave her life for her babies lives. She horrified her mother, with whom she had an extraordinarily close relationship, by begging her husband to make her pregnant; or that is what I got from the movie. I remember the funeral scene at the end with her two children left motherless. Of course you just knew that the women in the town who were the close knit crones of the beauty parlor would all help to raise those children. Well, I really have no such support system here. We have family that are so far removed geologically and with their own obligations that I can’t rely on anyone helping my husband to raise my kids if something ever happened to me. Sure, we know who we would like to raise our son if we both passed, but not just one of us, currently on my mind, me.

If the test result was positive, then we would deal with the situation as best we could, wholeheartedly welcome a new little bundle of joy. In fact, we really would like our son to have a sibling to grow up with and stay rooted with during his whole life.

At least now I can focus on the diabetes without the weight of having a life inside me being affected by what happens to my body. No baby trying to grow and being denied nutrients it needs to live by a dying or dead placenta.

It’s times like these, however, that I must bring to mind my faith in God and that there is a purpose to everything he does. Everything about my last pregnancy was punctuated with the hand of God guiding my condition and events, leading straight up to the birth of my boy. Even the pitfalls and perils turned out to be for the greater good and safety of my child and myself… but that is a post for another time. I am convinced my not being pregnant now is also the work of God and I trust in Him. I talked with DH when he got home and he insists that “it’s not over yet”, to which I replied, “Why? Because you are not a limp biscuit?” DH has the strongest faith and acceptance of God and life that I’ve ever seen. I cannot help but ponder his words and the relevance they have on our future. Que sera sera.

candles in the snow

I cannot help but include this little song I remember from my childhood, sung by Doris Day.

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

The Rose


LOVE

This is a picture I created in the very early 80’s and I was still 17 years old, working and head over heals for a guy I was seeing. I knew from the beginning that it would not go anywhere, but it was still thrilling being my first venture into men.

This picture was done using pastels, the colored charcoal. I used to really fall into my projects and using my fingers to blend the colors was all part of that. It was like my energy was flowing through my fingers in contact with the paper. Often, I would work in a frenzy for hours until I was finished, and ‘spent’.

The subject of this picture was a small arrangement I had put together in this very small, depression glass vase-like thing. I still have it! The rose was a ribbon rose I had made by hand and a daisy I made from cut ribbon petals and yellow button, glued onto a stem. Both of them were stuck into a little blog blob of clay. I remember trying to make it look very realistic, with the flowers on the inside being made to look faint, behind the glass, but I wanted them to be clearly seen. Surprisingly to me, I caught something that I probably could have done differently. Instead of having the blue framing the white daisy petals, it probably would have been better if I used white… but then, maybe it would not look as if it was behind the glass.  The frame is plain wood that I painted myself.  See, this whole object is creativity meeting across time… past and present.  I like that.

I saw myself has having a little secret world with this guy. Nobody knew about him. He was sort of a fling at work… AND he was married. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I had such low self esteem I didn’t think that I’d get another chance at romance, even though I knew it was not real, fake. Ugh, when I think of all the romantic indulgences I allowed myself just for that reason. I remember learning “The Rose”, by Bette Midler and singing them into his ear while we sat in the park…. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! But those lyrics really rang true for me at the time. Beautiful song… did you know that my idol Barry Manilow was Bette’s piano player?

The Rose
by Bette Midler

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it’s only seed

It’s the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun’s love
in the spring
becomes
the rose

Tag, Now You’re IT


I saw this on Naked Soul and decided to leap right in. First, I am SO lucky that I cleaned up all my son’s books. Some of them have more than 130 pages.. the fairy tales. The next book I picked up was “The Wounded Healer” by Henri J. Nouwen, but it only had 87 pages. My eyes next glanced at Webster’s dictionary, but I ignored it. Then I saw this book on my bookcase that I forgot that I even had, so I grabbed it for this. It had a CD of chanting in it, and I love to play it, but I’ve forgotten all about the book.

Chanting~Discovering Spirit in Sound

Chanting~ Discovering Spirit in Sound
by Robert Glass (with Kathleen Brehony)

“If we let our minds wander, we love the rhythm and the pattern of the music. Even while we are letting go into the chant, we must also maintain an awareness of where we are, of the unique qualities of this moment and the next. In this way, chanting is a practical metaphor for the spiritual path. In the words of the well-known Islamic saying, we ‘pray to Allah but tie our camel.’ We learn to reach to the heavens while keeping our feet planted firmly on the earth.”

Wow. I am so glad that I did this. This book is about discovering spirit in sound, which is something that I am tapping into while singing in the choir, while remaining ignorant of what is actually happening. I definitely will be reading this book to see if I can place any correlations between what I am feeling while singing and what is described here. Also, I love chanting music and would love to really get into it for itself.

If not for this ‘game’ I probably never would have picked this book up. We have stuff piled up in front of our bookcase because the little drake keeps pulling down all the books…. which he loves, by the way. We are hoping he gets into reading like his mom and dad.

Thanks, Mark!

UPDATE:

The “rules” for the 123Meme are as follows:

For those tagged, here’s what you’ve got to do:

1. Grab the closest book to you.
2. Open to page 123, look down to the 5th sentence.
3. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog.
4. Include the title and the author’s name.
5. Tag 3 people.

Test? What test?


When I had my blood tests done, my most immediate concern was pregnancy; and I, in fact, had that added after other tests that the dr. wanted to do as part of a check up and my complaint that my hands were hurting. Well, I got my results today and I know that everyone is waiting to hear if I am pregnant or not. To that end I can only say that I still do not know… which infuriates me. Even though the test was indicated on the request form, Labcorp admits that it was there but they didn’t do the test; so now, we must wait until Thursday or Friday to find out.

I am trying to keep calm about this and I think that I’m doing a pretty good job. I know that DH will not be happy because I have shut down the sex machine until we know for sure because I do not want an embryo slipping in before I have a mammogram done and possibly I’ll need x-rays taken of my hands. The reason that I am bordering on upset is that I used to work for Labcorp and know that a lot of tests get messed up, and cases where they have dropped the ball. I was there a while ago, so I thought that they had somewhat cleaned up their act, and that might still be true; but here I sit without knowing the thing that I want to know the most. The way that any large lab like that works is by volume and counting on the majority of the tests being completed without complications. But what of the rest of us? All those people out there biting their nails while waiting for results? Please, I could tell you stories! <shaking it off!>

What I “do” know is that my sugar is very high and I am probably diabetic, no, I am being classified as a diabetic. I have a sense of dread, but permeating that is a sense of relief and I’ll tell you why. My mother had diabetes from her early thirties on, I knew that at some point I would get it, but my good health continued. Even though I am a big person, my health has been consistently better all around than I ever would have imagined. Don’t drink or smoke. Always had great cholesterol results, great blood pressure, great sugar readings (until baby). I not always ate the right things, but I’ve been eating healthy in that I never cook or add salt. As a rule, I stay away from prepared foods. I stopped drinking soda and I’ve moderated my intake of caffeine. I pay a lot of attention to fiber and lots of water that is needed to keep regularity in the bowels. Stopped eating bagged junk food, you know all the little things that make life healthier. I did all this, but it was on my terms. My relief is that now I am being forced to take a more deliberate role with my health. Doesn’t that sound crazy?

There were definitely times when I ignored all my own rules, and this is probably my downfall. Oh, I should mention that I don’t exercise. For some reason I hate it. Many times I’ve started a regimen only to forsake it for some trivial reason. My weight is an area of my life that is my nemesis, possibly connected to my spiritual growth. Whatever it is, is so deeply rooted that I cannot see the root causes of my failure at trying to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight. I’ve been to counselors and they cannot see anything, either. I had resigned myself to my body, believing that I’ll never know, and so my body keeps it’s extra weight. I had lost weight after I had Gabriel, but that was because I was manufacturing breast milk. In a way, I am looking forward to the same benefits if I am with child again, though I know that I should not look to that, in itself, for losing weight. Oh, the tricks the mind and body plays on you.

Okay, so I am relieved that not just the shoe, but the whole closet has tumbled down upon my head, forcing me to really take this dieting stuff seriously, for real… for keeps. I am not so worried about the diabetes, itself, as I am worried about my ability to be disciplined enough to take care of myself. I mentioned before that my mother was diabetic and I watched her health decline specifically because of her attitude towards it. I knew then that it was manageable if only she would take an interest in her health. She just didn’t care. I know now that there are plenty of resources at my disposal to manage it. On the down side, it’s a degenerative decease. It will never get better, only worse; and it’s up to me to slow it down until at least my son is an adult, which will be 20 or so more years. I am determined to keep my outlook bright because that is always so much the key to dealing with illness. I must not even look at it as an illness.

For right now, I am really concerned about whether or not I am pregnant. We really would like another child and we’d have to deal with my condition and pregnancy as best we could. If I am not, however, I struggle with the idea of even keeping myself in the position of getting pregnant again. We believe in giving this over to God, and that is all well and good, but do we continue our love life the way it’s been going, without birth control.

Ah, I’ve finally found myself face to face with the problem of many practicing Catholics out there. To use, or not to use. It would have been a real easy decision for me 2 years ago; but after being blessed with a baby, after not expecting it, I am not so sure anymore. I believe that God, Himself, case His hand and gave us our son. He was such a miracle baby. How can I now presume to take matters into my own hands, forsaking the trust that I had in my Lord? I know that I am putting the cart before the horse here, but there is no better time than now, in my opinion, to start thinking about it.

Still thinking……..

Here Comes the Story of the Hurricane


Pistol shots ring out in the barroom night
Enter patty valentine from the upper hall.
She sees the bartender in a pool of blood,
Cries out, my god, they killed them all!
Here comes the story of the hurricane,
The man the authorities came to blame
For somethin that he never done.
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

Three bodies lyin there does patty see
And another man named bello, movin around mysteriously.
I didnt do it, he says, and he throws up his hands
I was only robbin the register, I hope you understand.
I saw them leavin, he says, and he stops
One of us had better call up the cops.
And so patty calls the cops
And they arrive on the scene with their red lights flashin
In the hot new jersey night.

Meanwhile, far away in another part of town
Rubin carter and a couple of friends are drivin around.
Number one contender for the middleweight crown
Had no idea what kinda shit was about to go down
When a cop pulled him over to the side of the road
Just like the time before and the time before that.
In Paterson thats just the way things go.
If youre black you might as well not show up on the street
less you wanna draw the heat.

Alfred bello had a partner and he had a rap for the cops.
Him and arthur dexter bradley were just out prowlin around
He said, I saw two men runnin out, they looked like middleweights
They jumped into a white car with out-of-state plates.
And miss patty valentine just nodded her head.
Cop said, wait a minute, boys, this ones not dead
So they took him to the infirmary
And though this man could hardly see
They told him that he could identify the guilty men.

Four in the mornin and they haul rubin in,
Take him to the hospital and they bring him upstairs.
The wounded man looks up through his one dyin eye
Says, whad you bring him in here for? he aint the guy!
Yes, heres the story of the hurricane,
The man the authorities came to blame
For somethin that he never done.
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

Four months later, the ghettos are in flame,
Rubins in south america, fightin for his name
While arthur dexter bradleys still in the robbery game
And the cops are puttin the screws to him, lookin for somebody to blame.
Remember that murder that happened in a bar?
Remember you said you saw the getaway car?
You think youd like to play ball with the law?
Think it might-a been that fighter that you saw runnin that night?
Dont forget that you are white.

Arthur dexter bradley said, Im really not sure.
Cops said, a poor boy like you could use a break
We got you for the motel job and were talkin to your friend bello
Now you dont wanta have to go back to jail, be a nice fellow.
Youll be doin society a favor.
That sonofabitch is brave and gettin braver.
We want to put his ass in stir
We want to pin this triple murder on him
He aint no gentleman jim.

Rubin could take a man out with just one punch
But he never did like to talk about it all that much.
Its my work, hed say, and I do it for pay
And when its over Id just as soon go on my way
Up to some paradise
Where the trout streams flow and the air is nice
And ride a horse along a trail.
But then they took him to the jailhouse
Where they try to turn a man into a mouse.

All of rubins cards were marked in advance
The trial was a pig-circus, he never had a chance.
The judge made rubins witnesses drunkards from the slums
To the white folks who watched he was a revolutionary bum
And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger.
No one doubted that he pulled the trigger.
And though they could not produce the gun,
The d.a. said he was the one who did the deed
And the all-white jury agreed.

Rubin carter was falsely tried.
The crime was murder one, guess who testified?
Bello and bradley and they both baldly lied
And the newspapers, they all went along for the ride.
How can the life of such a man
Be in the palm of some fools hand?
To see him obviously framed
Couldnt help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
Where justice is a game.

Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties
Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise
While rubin sits like buddha in a ten-foot cell
An innocent man in a living hell.
Thats the story of the hurricane,
But it wont be over till they clear his name
And give him back the time hes done.
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world.

I heard this song tonight on the way to the store and I immediately thought about what happened in Guantanamo Bay. My next thought was that this is nothing new. Americans are not saints and never have been; so why are we so surprised that something like this happened? We say that this is such a great country, yet we are overrun with corruption, prejudice, crime, and clergy who abuse the very children of their flock. How can everything ever be cleansed, healed?

“And the newspapers, they all went along for the ride.”

I guess what I want to express here is that I am so sick of hearing the same things in the media. I stopped watching TV because I could not stand watching it any longer. Nighttime news has definitely gone down hill, riding the coat tails of the prime time junk that was/is aired. After TV, I started to listen to talk radio, namely NPR… but all we hear about is the war… talk, talk, talk… but no solutions. What that adds up to is Mindless Talk. I listen to Brian Lehrer Show. Now, I really like that show. I love him, his voice, what they talk about… but yeeet… for all the talk, all the guest politicians, all the “expert” guests on the show, all the callers making great points, I have never heard any of these conversations come to some kind of solution. Nothing. He will always say something like, “Well, we won’t find a solution today and we’ll have to leave it here.” That is so annoying.

I’ve got one word, “Profiling”. Yeah, take a good look at these lyrics. Profiling was going on back then and who knows how long before Bob Dylan put it out there. I heard on the radio the other day an American Iraqi talking about profiling used against people from Iraq who have been here many years and legalized. Now maybe we need to profile in order to catch the new breed of “bad guys”. I think there is too much room for the bad “good” guys to run amok and perpetrate their own brand of terrorizing.Am I being picky? When will we see any solutions, or even any action towards healing from the powers that be? When will we be outta Iraq; or will we ever leave? You know, maybe those politicians do need to have a personal stake in war. Maybe we should have the draft reinstated, if only so that our presidents, senators, congressmen, etc. will know that their own family and friends are at risk of being sucked up into the foreign war vortex. Let’s face it, the American public are just pawns so that these politicians can feel good about themselves and powerful.

“Couldnt help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
Where justice is a game.”

Good Bad Day/Magic Reach Victory


Funny how things work out.  Had a migraine today from the time I woke up, and I was committed to lead a hymn at church, then was unexpectedly asked to lead the “Gloria” which is a LOUD one, giving your all.  On top of that, DH had to work today, 2nd shift, which means it was from 2pm-10pm… he’ll be getting off in about 2 minutes.  By the time we got home from church, and 1 hour in-between, I was nauseous with the pain.  I didn’t want to take anything because of the pending test results.  Oh boy, how was I going to handle this day?  Okay, after hubby left for work, put baby down for a nap and I was going to nap, too.  Two hours go by and it only got worse.  I relented and took 2 Aleve.  I hated doing that, but I didn’t know what else to do.  Little while after that, they started to work and I was able to go into my son, when he woke up.  To my surprise, he was up, but he clearly wanted to sleep more.  He immediately started to snuggle against me and I put the blanket around him and he slept there, and I slept, too, for another hour.  It was around 5pm when we got up and my headache was mostly gone…. oh, God’s hand is always there.

We got up and went out to the store.  It was about 6pm when we got out.  We had a really good time even though it was just the grocery store.  Oh, I want everyone to know that I finally got the Mr. Clean Magic Reach REFILLS.  Got them at our Stop & Shop… whoo hoo!  Let me tell you that it’s clear that this product is being phased out, though they still had a small supply of both, the wand and refill pads.  I got two packages of the pads, which jacked up my grocery bill, but I didn’t care because I need to stockpile this stuff!

Sorry this is not that interesting today, but I needed to write about “something”.

Drake Man


It just occurred to me that I am an author and my last post is building suspense. Sorry guys, but I cannot alleviate that suspense today because the dr’s office was c=l=o=s=e=d. I want to thank everyone for their words of support. Blogging about it and knowing that you are there, reading and listening really makes a world of difference. Sure I talk to the Drake about it, but I know that he is, by nature, a worrier and I don’t want to unload all this on him, all at one time.

Let me tell you something that I found hysterical, and realized that I still do after having it happen again. What it is, is a phrase that the Drake used before we were married and apparently still uses to impress me. When we dated, if I thanked him for something, anything, he would say, “You’re worth it.” Man, that really, really impressed me and made me feel really special. After we’d eat at a restaurant, or getting a gift, or after he’d do something nice, I’d show appreciation in some way and he’d say it…. wow.

Then after we were married, it hit me. The man works for L’Oreal. Now, I know that all you ladies that color your hair know that catch phrase! “Because you’re worth it.” Me, the sucker, fell for it… I was not mad or annoyed, but I always thought that I was on top of things, ya know? Red faced me. Well, I’d almost forgot about it until tonight. We went to a Family Buffet and at the end of the meal, I said, “Great idea,” and he said, “You’re worth it!” I smiled, then thought, hey, it’s only family buffet, not some exclusive place… THEN I got it! Fell for it again. But you know, it’s a real sincere-sounding phrase. No wonder they are selling hair dye all over the place.

Actually, post-realization, this is one of the things I find endearing about my Drake. He is really the most sincere person I know. Very simple, nothing confusing and it seems reflecting in his choice of words even though he plagiarized them from his own company. I just thought that I’d share a little bit of our family idiosyncrasies.

Sleeping Dragon

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