The Kiss

February is a Romantic month. Maybe it’s the cold, or maybe red is a hot color, heating up the libido. Maybe Valentine’s Day is the reason for the breed’n. Or maybe, just maybe February happens to be a special month for DH and I because our wedding anniversary falls within it’s cold/warm 28 (or 29) days. Ha. I just have to share the irony with you guys.

When DH and I started dating, he let me know in no uncertain terms that he does not participate in the proliferation of the commercialism of holidays. Not Christmas, and not Valentine’s Day. It’s not that he doesn’t celebrate Christmas, but he refuses to go crazy buying gifts during the season- too much pressure. He likes to focus more on birthdays and other little gifts for people during the year. Probably also because he has 14 nieces and nephews and it got crazy for him at Christmas time. Valentine’s Day was not on his list of special days, either, though I knew this was because he never really had a reason to do anything special with anyone before. So, he ran down the list, no cards, no flowers, no chocolates… It seemed absurd to me; but hey, I was in my “love” stage and knew that he was still a very giving man in other ways. Well, the day came and I did get a card, but no flowers. I am a woman, after all and I was, well, disappointed… but focused on the beautiful hand written sentiment on the inside of the card. To this day, he goes out of his way to avoid spending money for the sake of Valentine’s Day.

Okay, so comes time to set a date for our wedding and Valentine’s Day became “it” for practical reasons, though sentimental, if you can believe that. DH wanted our friends and relatives to come to our wedding from far places without the strain of having to rush home right after the ceremony. I think that year Columbus or President’s Day fell somewhere right in there to create a 3 day weekend. We wanted it to be a little reunion for our family and friends on our special day and hoped that the occasion would provide a romantic setting for them on V-Day.

Let me comment here about big weddings, in general:

Big weddings are a waste of money. Let me repeat that, Big weddings are a BIG waste of money. YE$, women tend to stress out over them because we want everything to be perfect. More stress added when the guy doesn’t seem interested and THEN gets jittery because you are spending $$$($). Women tend to get carried away with the details and soon everything is blown out of proportion. I must say that our wedding was bigger than we really wanted, though it was not what you would call extravagant.

Our reception was at a VFW in DH’s home town (Clark, NJ) and our wedding pictures were taken underneath a fighter helicopter in the mud on a cold and wet Feb. 14th. We splurged on a band and not a DJ. Even my white wedding gown was really a miscommunication between us (mostly DH’s). I did not want the spectacle of a white gown, but when DH told me that he was getting a t-u-x… well, I thought that I had to get a gown to match his outfit. Then later, DH said that he got the impression from ME that I wanted all that. Well, once the white gown was a part of it, all other traditional stuff seemed to follow, though was kept to a tasteful minimum. Oh, in DH’s family the tradition was to get neck ties for all the men in the family the same color as the wedding party. I thought that was so cool, so I ordered up quite a few from the internet. What color? RED RED RED. I just love a real bright red. There was one year that the only color in my closet was, you guessed it, red. My uncle made a scene because he very adamantly would not wear the tie. He fought back saying he didn’t want to be told how to dress… ugh… I told him that he didn’t have to wear it and explained the whole idea. Okay, so he comes to the wedding in his own red tie. Drama Queen.

Bottom line here… DH will never forget either our wedding anniversary OR Valentine’s Day. Can’t beat two in the hand! I could NOT have engineered this myself, even if I wanted to. Last year, I was confined to bed with pregnancy so we didn’t do anything or go anywhere, but it was still nice. This year, he actually penciled in our dinner to be at WHITE CASTLE. Can you imagine this? I’ve commented directly to him plenty of times that I hate that place and that their belly bombs do not agree with me. Even more so now that I have diabetes, I would not go there. He say’s “it’ll be nice, they have flowers on the tables”, or something like that…. I don’t know, am I crazy to not really be angry about this? It’s part of his quirkiness that he would have the audacity to finally get me there on V-Day. His extreme counter-move against the ever encroaching commercialism is sort of endearing. We’ll see what really happens. My strategy is that I will graciously offer to make him a special dinner, complete with homemade dessert. If that fails, I will bring my own dinner because, really, I can’t eat that junk anymore.

Seriously though, sometimes DH just doesn’t THINK… or he’s in denial or something. Maybe it’s just a joke? His first one since I know him? Maybe THAT is the present? Maybe this is a cosmic attempt to test the depth of my love for this man. I will report back on the 15th, the ives of February.