I Could Not Ask For More
by Edwin McCain

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive
These are the moments I’ll remember all my life
I found all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more

Chorus
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have’s come true
And right here in this moment is right where I’m meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive
These are the moments I’ll remember all my life
I’ve got all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more

Chorus
I could not ask for more than the love you give me ‘Coz it’s all I’ve waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

When I read lyrics like these, I think about more than my love for The Drake. I cannot help thinking that I’ve finally found my lifemate, the man I have waited for.  Just as our bond is a strong one and growing every day, I cannot deny just how fragile it all really is. I can’t help slipping out of the present and into the future, a possible future without him. I know, Sometimes I am so morbid and I could justifiably be chastised for imagining a time without him, because of what it would mean to have happened.  I know people who have been left alone in the world and with added responsibility of a family to care for alone.  I can’t voice it, but there is something inside me that has always been so macabre. It’s part of my Dark Side, part of my life; and as such, I must live with it and try to keep it at bay as I ride the tides that well up without warning. Maybe in order to be well grounded, we must have intimate [working] knowledge of all aspects of life, I really don’t know.  I went to counseling at one time and she theorized that it might be a survival mechanism. Uninvited, I imagine certain scenarios, then picture in my mind what I would do in those situations. I have to admit that I do “try out” different responses in my mind, but it’s all very frightening while it’s happening.

Sometimes they are wake up calls as to how to protect Little D or what to keep him away from, or a reminder to know where he is at all times… because of “what can happen”. Again, all very frightening and very real while I am in the throws of it. Before I sought to limit my experiences, they would hold me fast and I would actually live out (or it felt as such) what was going on in my head. Maybe as a survival thing, I discovered that I could pull myself out of it and now it’s a matter of being aware of what is happening and knowing that if I can’t handle the emotions, I could cut it off. It can be very frightening and draining, emotionally and physically. At first, I thought that I was crazy and I’ve always been an anxious worrier; but this counselor gave me a handle of what it might be and the more I think of it, the more I think she is right.

I hope I don’t sound crazy to you guys, but these thoughts came out even though I intended on writing about something else, so maybe it’s important for me to let it stay. I’ve always been that way. Once I write down my thoughts, I have a sense that they should stay because they are my first, deepest thoughts, and take my lumps if warranted. It’s a part of me, and as such, contributes to whatever you find appealing about my writing. And so, keeping the above intact, I will continue….

This song expresses everything I feel for the Drake. I feel that I could not have asked for more, let alone receive such a man. I’ve waited a long time…. I know that must sound like an old record, but it’s been the running theme my whole life. Yet, whatever happens I will be forever grateful. Whatever happens I’ll always treasure our life together, however long, or however brief. I am also reminded of “The Heart Will Go On”, by Celine Dion, the theme from The Titanic. Now, THAT was a love story for the ages if there ever was one.

Heart, mind and soul
are forever changed
because of you, my Eddie.
You will go on in my heart
no matter the future.
I love you.

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