Shhhhhhh! Don’t say that too loud: I-have-nothing-to-do. Well, I did just start a potato soup recipe.

But really. The house is clean and I don’t have any major housekeeping chores looming over my head. Why… What…. How do I find myself in this situation, you ask? I hosted my first playgroup today. I was crazy yesterday, trying to clean, but mostly procrastinating… torn between the desire to crochet and the responsibility of cleaning house. Geez, I am so hungry! I have to stop writing for a bit……

Back, oh 1/2 hour later. Finished the soup and can’t wait to see how it tastes. I’m letting the flavors “blend”.

Back to the cleaning thing. Better write fast as my thoughts are already fading fast, which was my problem over the summer. <Let out deep breath> I find myself sitting in a clean and, most importantly, orderly house. Why don’t I learn my lesson for good? Well, I did, but as with everything, I keep falling back into my bad habits. I have no idea if I’m t……….. oh, shit. Gabe just spilled a ton of water and I had to mop it up. Thank goodness it was just water…. <big sigh> As I was saying, I have no idea if I am truly, simply put, lazy or if it’s something else. I am hoping it’s something else because “lazy” doesn’t sound good. <took time out to comfort son who found something “wrong” with his beads and is flinging them across the room, whining to himself>……………………

……. Tried to get Little Drake down for a nap, but it was a no go 15 min. later. See, this is my life, bouncing from one thing to another. So how can I possibly get some decent writing time where I can just collect my thoughts for long enough to write them down. BTW, the soup is a keeper!

Right. Getting back to clean-talk. I’ve always been intimidated by the thought of cleaning. The women in my family are despot fanatics. Me, on the other hand… WAY over on the other hand, avoid cleaning like the plague. It’s not that I don’t like a clean house, but the road there has always been a long, slow, rocky one. You know those dreams where you are running in the fog to someplace you’ve got to get to yesterday? That’s me. Running furiously, every muscle in my body straining to reach further and further, in slow motion, and getting absolutely nowhere. Part of the problem is, believe it or not, is that I am too much the perfectionist. I remember locking myself in the bathroom… just like my son is doing right now, wait a sec…. Okay. I’d stay literally all day in the bathroom trying to clean it. It was my one chore and I had such a hard time getting it done. I could not focus for long enough. Part of my problem was that I as such a klutz. I’d clean one area on the sink, then, when cleaning an adjoining area, I’d mess up the first area. That would get me so frustrated and I hit a brick wall. Of course what followed was intense avoidance.

Fast forward to now. Well, during the course of the past year, I joined a Mom’s Club in our area. The main reason for joining was the playgroups because Little Drake just doesn’t have kids his own age to play with around here. Somehow or another, these girls got the idea that I was “only” in it for the playgroups and I think that was the reason why I always felt like no one was interested in getting to know “me”. Sure the playgroups was what got me off my duff to get out there, but I also do not have any friends of my own, so, I was looking to make friends, too. Anyway, playgroups were not working out for one reason or another. I am guessing that part of the problem is that I don’t make friends easily. I’m not the type of person to get into, what I’ll call for now, “frilly” conversations. You know the ones. Those things we talk about when we are really wishing we were somewhere else… the weather, makeup, fashion, or “those Jets”. A former horrid topic was “kids” and the cutesy things they do; but now I’m one of those who crossed over to the KIDDIE SIDE…wooooo. I am not trying to imply that these women talk about frilly topics… but I am just trying to say where MY head is at.

Our playgroups get re-grouped regularly, so this time around, I offered to host right away. I am learning so much about being social… I am not a socialized individual. I never know how to clean, you know? I mean, what are those chores you can do days before and still look presentable when it’s showtime? When do you wash the floor? When do you dust? When do you clean the bathroom? When do you vacuum? I’ve always had a problem with this because there are just some things you need to do right on the same day… then pray nobody uses the sink or the toilet! The end result for me is that I do it all the night before and right up to the time people are scheduled to come; and this is what happened to me today. So last night I ran around like a maniac after both males of the house were sound asleep. I washed the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, dusted and straightened up all the usual (and unusual) clutter centers of the house.

Bright and early this morning, because playgroup is at 10am, I cleaned the foyer, shook out the front mat, swept the porch, steps and walkway. Back inside, I shoved the Drake’s empty boxes into his closet, made the bed with spread and pillows, made LD’s bed, made sure I had snacks, juice and coffee (with accessories) accessible on the kitchen counter. Did I mention whipping out the vacuum and to my horror, it was not picking up even the smallest of particles? No….. YES. When I got to LD’s bedroom, the room that the kids would surely visit, it spit out dust balls the size of my hand, accompanied by sprays of shimmering dust particles… Mission Control, we have a p-r-o-b-l-e-m! After digging out a clothing store tag from the hose, I got all most some whatever-dust-I-got-I-got off the floor.  Oh, then I showered without washing my hair.

10:00am…. 10:05am….. 10:10am. I think that was when the first of the mommies got here. We all had a nice time, well, I know that I did. Little Drake even did a great job sharing his toys, even though he had his moments. Two hours later, they were gone and I was left with a day of leisurely guilt-free time. Unfortunately, the Drake will not be home until late. I was also supposed to have people here from this Mom’s club, but nobody responded to the event on our calendar; but Drake had already made his plans.

Oh well, just another day in the life. Oh, and here’s a present, blast from the past for reading this far: