Hey. My name is Debbie and I live in Elizabeth, NJ USA. Yeah, it’s me again. That little annoying buzz that keeps making her way back here to Dragon’s Yen. Well, what have I been doing for, oh, longer than a year now? I’ve been kind of burnt out of writing and avoided coming back here like the plague. But, I do want to thank those commenters on Platelet Donation Update… You have kept me coming back here now and again and I thank you for that. You’ve kept my blog in my thoughts.

Originally, I was going to keep a journal about my son’s (Little Drake) milestones and the exploits of a toddler. As it turns out, he is now, at three years old, heading for preschool… do you see the Happy Feet? As he goes off to school, mommie’s life will get more complicated as she will need to do “something” and that something is either find a job or take some courses. I really need to see if I can do something from home to keep me available for LD. I decided that I want to get into the world of Medical Transcriptionist. I’m a pretty good typist and do have the bulk of my working experience in the medical field, so I thought this would be a good fit for me.

Lo and behold, the local college is offering an online course for certification in this area…. but >bump< I hit a wall when I realized that the requirements for this course was that I need to have Microsoft’s Office Suite on my computer. Needless to say, I do not. Last year, I cleared my laptop of that junk, and installed Open Office. It “has” been pretty complicated to understand, especially the building of a database, but I’ve been using the word processing part of it; and the transition has almost been seamless from Microsoft’s Word. Grrr. Well, we simply do not have the money to buy a software package… especially this one… but then let me rethink this. If I get a new software package, then I probably would want to get a new laptop, something I can dedicate to my education. Throw down another couple of thousand, computer and software. Hubby seems receptive to this online course, especially since it costs a fraction of what another online company/school is charging…. plus we have no idea if this other “school” is a scam or not. The college is established and a physical building….though I’ll be not actually going there.

Ah… where am I going with this? The only funds available for this is locked in a CD that my dad put aside for me. If I cash it in now, of course there are penalties involved; but my main concern is that this little (and I MEAN little) nest egg is the only one of it’s kind. My dad has another wife now, with no means of supporting herself, so you KNOW that there will be hardly any inheritance left over for his real kids…. ah… I’m not meaning to sound resentful, and I really do like his wife. I’m just trying to state the facts. I mention “real” kids because there has been talk floating around between my brother and sister that a comment “was made” that had his wife asking “what about her kids?”… Her two adult daughters, BTW, who are both settled in their lives…. I digress.

So, here I am with a decision to make. Do I crack open my tiny nest egg; or do I leave it where it is? It seems as if I do not have any choice because DH does NOT make enough money at his job to support us, yet support us he as been doing, all by himself, for the last 3+ years… though not without a price to pay. I just learned that he has been taking from our son’s savings… whatever monies that were gifted to him from birth and whatever other events. He had always counted his overtime as part of his gross income… GROSS MISTAKE. My parents always advised me NOT to do that because, as you may know, overtime is not a given, guaranteed factor. I tried to tell him that… but you KNOW how men always listen to their wives?…. NOT Anyway, now we are feeling the financial stress of 6 months without nary a scant bit of OT. Not a big thing for a single guy, but a very big thing for DH who is struggling to maintain our survival in a lower middle class (higher low class?) life.

We have nothing to show for ourselves except our beautiful son, and now I am feeing as my immigrant ancestors must have felt… putting all their eggs into their children, hoping they could make something more out of themselves. So that their children might succeed where they had not.

So yes, I think I’ll have to do this thing that scares the crap out of me.