Time cannot be held and is bound to slip away.

I’m still benefiting from that one night of watching Oprah’s Lifeclass.  I’ve already proven to myself that there’s no way I can sit and pay attention to it every night, but I’m finding the archives valuable, indeed, allowing me to manage my time better and still being able to attend and enjoy Lifeclass.  My time at night is currently being given to a lace knitting pattern which requires my full attention, visually and mentally.

One thing that I am grateful for and tend to overlook is the time that I now have since I’ve been out of work.  First off, I’m SO grateful for the amount of time that I have been spending, with my son.  I could never be home waiting for him to get home from school if I was working a day job.  I would’ve missed all his milestones up until this point…. all of which happened during the day.  I know too many moms who miss out on the most valuable moments of parenting.  We were sort of maneuvered into my staying home.  My work situation, and I can’t even say I had a career, was not paying enough for me to justify going back to work.  It simply wasn’t paying enough and I didn’t want to have to work just t0 pay for daycare.  Absurd, so it seemed to be a no brainer for me to stay home, though I did try to negotiate a work-at-home arrangement with my employer.  This really was doable given my job and how it was conducted in the office.  So, at the eleventh hour, after getting favorable feedback, I was maneuvered into the position of resigning at 5pm on the Friday before DH was due back from his FMLA leave.  Still sticks me a little, but not much.  DH’s salary was more than enough to keep us afloat.

I’m grateful for the present because the past is a memory and I really don’t want to think about the future.  If I do, I won’t enjoy the present.   Actually, I’ve been trying to prepare myself, mentally and emotionally, for a change.  Our domestic situation has been changing and shortly (hopefully) I’ll be thrust pushed shoved back into the workforce and my time won’t be my own again.  It’s hard to let go of something and lose control.  This is the one area of my life (my time) that I’ve had almost total control over, or at least enough to feel satisfied and not resent the other duties I have, like housekeeper, mother, wife, basically an administrative assistant for the household I call my own.  It’s sad.  I’m very sad about losing something I’ve enjoyed these past six years or so. So, by extension, I am grateful for whatever time I have in the present when my time is my own. Trust in the great big grand plan….

I am so grateful that I’ve had the time to pursue my varied interests.  I love and need lots of time for, well, the fiber arts, which includes knitting, crochet, spinning both on a wheel and spindle.  I’ve started wire wrapping various stones, gems, even rocks and made them into beautiful works of art that can be worn on the neck. This extra “me” time has allowed me to develop and work at creating beauty down previously untraveled avenues and not performing under appreciated scuttle work in an office.  (can scuttle work ever be “fully” appreciated?)  What’s really important is that I have not been subjected to other people deciding my worth.  I’ve participated in a few craft shows and festivals, so while I’ve not been an overwhelming success, I’ve totally enjoyed the process and gained invaluable experience.  I recently received an invitation to display my work in a consignment shop, dedicated to showcasing independent artists in another part of the country.  I’m so excited!  The venue is Charmed Butterfly in Scottsville, Va.  Go check them out.  I’m also preparing to participate in another local craft show this December.  That’s pretty cool and things are looking up.

You know, and this is not trivial to me, I really appreciate my reading audience, whoever you are.  All through the year plus that I’ve not posted, I’ve had people coming back.  Amazing.  I’m awed that I have these die hard fans out there who are reading.  I’m glad that what I have said months and months ago is still being read somewhere in the world today.  Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU~!