This morning I’m so sad and, well, pretty much upset by a post I read at a diary of a mom, a blog with a lot of love and inspiration. She is a mom of an autistic girl writing about their family’s experiences and the little joys of every day life. This morning it was on a subject that is near and dear to my heart: Education and Support for Special Needs Children, in our case, the autistic child. So now, as usual when something touches me this way, I write…..
The post in the a diary of a mom’s blog was about two women who murdered their autistic children. For the details, please link to the blog above. These mothers could not get past that first stage when you first get diagnosed. I remember it well, and I still have my days of worrying about the future; but these ladies seemed to have gotten stuck there. I know nothing of these horrible events, but one thing I am sure of is that they felt like they had nowhere to turn while teetering on the edge of a cliff. I’ve felt this way and sometimes still do, but I’ve scrounged together a good support system, partly with luck and a lot through loving, caring, compassionate individuals. Some being family and friends, but others being strangers. I believe that God has brought all these people together uniquely for us. Just yesterday I had a conversation about hope. Well, to be more accurate, I received a good tough-love, in your face smack down from a good friend about not loosing hope. Even the most optimistic person sometimes needs someone (or something) to bring them back to perspective. Maybe these moms didn’t have that.
As I said, I know nothing of these individual women, but I do know that education is severely lacking out there for both the adults, as well as all children in the school system of this country. I’ve seen ignorance color my son’s peers’ perception of him and it kills me inside as a mother and as a citizen of this city, this country. In my dealings with my own school system, I must say (and give credit) to the professionals here; BUT, and there’s always a “but”, I see a lack of knowledge and and training on the school’s part. With that said, they ARE trying, but I’m disappointed and surprised that they have no idea as to how to go about putting together strategies. They are doing so for the first time, as I’ve even been told that they are just putting things together as they go along; and that worries me. I am wondering why these professionals have not been to workshops that would educate and inspire them. No money? Hardly. I am in an Abbott District and, in general, we get more funding than other areas around here. Autism has been around a long time and there is no reason why our schools cannot meet the needs of these kids.
Getting back to availability of information. It seems that it’s very difficult to network with other parents of special needs kids and though I’ve given repeated permission to hand out my telephone number to other moms in the school, for years I have not met even one other parent, though I know that there are at least 8 other kids in my son’s class alone. A couple of weeks ago, however, through the school, I did manage to hook up with another mom of an autistic girl, two years older than my son and we had a play date and spoke a couple of times over the telephone. Just this alone, could have immensely helped these tragic moms and maybe they would’ve chosen life instead of death for their kids…. My heart is breaking.
To any desperately overwhelmed parent out there I must say STOP~!!! Stop and take the time to see the unconditional love your child has for you. For YOU alone. The love and trust found in these kids for their parents, and maybe even everyone around them, is sacred. Every single day of my son’s life has been a learning experience for ME. Wow. Here I am thinking that I am going to teach and mold my son into an admirable human being only to be side swiped because I am the one who is the student here, enrolled in a lifeclass originating not from the OWN network, but from the person of my little boy from the moment he took his first breath of life. LIFE. OMG, when I think about what what the world has lost with the loss of these little lives.
I’ve just decided to create a new page, listing the resources I come across. Please check back this time next week for that. This weekend will be pretty busy, but I will get to it right after that.