After spending time with a group of people, do you feel energized and ready for anything or do you want to hide in the corner with a good book?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us PERSONALITY.
I think the answer to this question depends on who you are spending your time with and how comfortable you are feeling around them. I have a particular group of friends that get together once a month. They are my Posse. I never thought I’d have a posse, but here ya go. I love to laugh but in my middle and present years, I’ve been missing that. My husband is a serious fellow, but his heart is in the right place. While he DOES have a sense of humor, sometimes it slips right by me. Did I make the wrong choice for a life-mate? My answer is No. I’ve dated a lot of guys with enormous personalities and amazing sense of humor, but at those times, they could not or would not commit to anything permanent, and that’s what I was looking for. Anyway….
….This group of women pulled the belly laughs from me and I realized I missed that. We all came together to knit and crochet and to share our love for the fiber arts…. and did I mention the FOOD? I’m drooling. We do potluck and we all get to sample the best of the best of what we’re all capable of creating with eatable items. Once a month gatherings are not enough for most of us and so we try to get together more often and some of us, weekly, at Wegmans‘. We also get together on a retreat every year and it’s a whole weekend of non-stop laughs, well into the night.
On the other side of the mountain, I remember going out in my early twenties with some girlfriends to “clubs”. Ugh. Places groups of girls and guys went to dance and the disco music was, um, plentiful. I grew up sucking up Heavy Metal Rock music in the seventies and my twenties were spent in the eighties. While I hate discotheques, the flashing lights, the LOUD music, and the watered down drinks, that was the only place I could go with other women. My friends abandoned rock music for the dance stuff. Ugh. I always found an excuse to get out of there to recover, if even for a few minutes. I remember one time I retired to a little corner underneath a speaker and actually fell asleep waiting for my friends to be ready to go home. The men at that time were not interested in me at all because I was overweight. Only the flashy, twiggy girls got the attention and I guess I was not a threatening presence to my friends who were there to meet guys. I knew this and I guess I kind of used them, too, to get myself out of the house. Back then, I had no idea there were other types of places I could go, by myself, to have a cup of coffee and read and not feel out of place being by myself.
Even today I prefer to go out to places by myself, shedding the burden of trivial conversation. When I’m with a group, I find that I’m not into most of the conversation. I don’t want to hear about kids, I don’t want to hear about home decor or cleaning. I’d rather sit there and listen to deeper things that are far over my head (except math) and try to understand. I’m not into a lot of podcasts any more because the talk is irritating. Also, I prefer to talk to men. I think that with sports being the exception, they are much more interesting to talk to than women. Certain women in my experience were notorious for giving in to the urge to nitpick and correct me at every turn and well, our views were constantly in a state of conflict. It was discouraging and I soon realized I did not belong in that group because I was constantly brought down. Fading myself out of there hurt me very much, because I really admired and respected this particular lady, and I still do, but I had to give priority to my own sense of worth.
People often mistake my shyness and awkward silence and think I’m being aloof and that I have no interest. In actuality, I am absorbing everything and speak up when I am inclined to and that is about it. In truth, I prefer to just sit in the background, working on my knit or crochet project. HA… It’s funny because people will think that I am ignoring the conversation, then I have to prove that I heard every word. They are not realizing that I can freaking participate in the convo while my hands are working. Since when do ears and hands collide?
Ah, I’m okay with the way things are right now. Wish I could give more attention to this post, but I’ve got to go run some errands that are really important. More advocating in the educational system. Sheesh… I thought I’d get a vacation from this shit, but it never stops.
Have a great day, people!
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