My first reaction when I read this prompt was that I will never be relieved until I get the official word that my cancer is gone.  I am seeing a lot of positive things on the web and hearing positive things from my doctor.  That gives me hope, but not relief.  So once I had that down, I started thinking……….

I am relieved that my doctor cut the price of my chemo to cost so that it is somewhat affordable.

I am relieved that my brother and sister came to my aid and are paying for this chemo treatment and cooking for me because if it weren’t for them, I would not be able to do this on my own.

I am relieved that after a weekend of not exactly being strict with my diet, my blood sugar level is at 121 this morning, the extreme lowest that it’s every been since becoming a diabetic ten years ago.

Then I looked up the definition on google:

re·lief
rəˈlēf/
noun
  1. a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress.
    “much to her relief, she saw the door open”
    synonyms: reassurance, consolation, comfort, solace

    “it was such a relief to share my worries”
  2. assistance, especially in the form of food, clothing, or money, given to those in special need or difficulty.
    “raising money for famine relief”
    synonyms: help, aid, assistance, succor, sustenance, TLC; More

So as I read this, I realize that I have more to be relieved about, but also grateful for.  Number 1. is the biggest, believe it or not.  I have such a beautiful support system, and it’s pretty large, too; which is wonderful because any one of my family and friends would never be able to cater to my needs without a break.  It’s impossible to name every single one of these people because I also have found hope and consolation from strangers whom stories I’ve read.

This is one of the reasons why I write about what I’m going through.  Just the fact that we live, will have an effect on someone out there.  Writing does me good, and thanks to hubby for suggesting that I start writing again.  If you go back years on my blog, you will see very quickly that my thoughts are scattered and topics are all over the board.  Writing about this cancer is helping me, but also helps me focus just on cancer and it’s my fervent hope that I can give back to those who really need it, as I have found comfort and hope from strangers.

I am relieved that through this cancer, I realize that God has not forgotten about me.  I don’t just have the faith, but I have an innate knowing that God will always take care of me, no matter what happens, and He has.  That feeling is strong and I feel relieved and surprisingly relaxed about what I am going through and that, in and of itself, is both, a blessing and just happens to be critical for my survival.  I want my family and friends to know that no matter what, I will be okay, and I get emotional in my hope that they will be, too.

So I have a question for you.  Do you think that I should create another blog just for this cancer stuff, with an appropriate title and info on the site just for cancer?  While I am trying to customize more on this blog, I find that I really don’t want to totally eliminate my other interest links and pages.  So I look forward to hearing from you.

 

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