I’m starting this later at night than I wanted to, but it’s the beginning of summer, the boy is sleeping late and so can I.

So, while I want to keep this a positive post, I want you peeps to know that I struggle to keep my negatives under control.  It’s possible because the thoughts that come to our mind do not matter as much as how we deal with them.  Do we curse and blurt out complaints; or do we think first about the person we want to be and will a wave of patience to come over us?

In the interest of full disclosure I am a Roman Catholic and I have struggled my whole life with my faith, though for the past decade or so, I have made some progress.  Anyway, today, though I had a ride to the office, I entered my appointment on my own and so had to wait a lot of time before the doctor came in to see me.  I got SO impatient that I started to walk around the little room and touch things and inspected the artwork on the wall calendar.  Finally, I went out into the hall, but did not say anything.  Then I saw the nurse walking in the hallway and nicely asked her how much longer.  She let me know that there was only one doctor there that day and that I was next.  I thanked her and sat down; but then heard her open the door to where the doctor was and said something, then left there and left the door open because I could hear him talking.  When he came into my room, I noticed that he took the time to apologize for keeping me waiting and explained that he was not my regular doctor and had to take the time to look over my file.  I also apologized for being impatient and explained that I didn’t have anyone with me whose job it is to keep me in check.

It was cool after that and I was SO glad that I didn’t raise my voice, as I tend to do, and make a scene because in reality this office extended to me the greatest compassion and treating me at cost because it’s out-of-pocket payments.  My own doctor has the best reputation among the surrounding medical community.  I mean these people know each other and my sister even knew who he was because when her husband got pancreatic cancer, they wanted him as their first choice but he was not available at that time.  So sad because my BIL passed away a few years ago.  So what is wrong with me that I don’t hang onto that gratitude during times like this on my own?

Okay so then I went back into the chemo area and everything went well.  Not much to tell, really.  Once you’re hooked up, you can get up, dragging your IV, and walk around, go to the bathroom, get coffee and snacks that either the nurses or the patients bring in.  I love talking to the oncology nurses but they are so busy bustling around to various patients, changing the IV drugs and attending to any alarms that go off.  The needle, itself, is inserted into the straight part of your forearm and has a flexible tip, allowing you to move your arm and today I actually did some crochet while attached to it.  The first time, I was afraid to.  I was there for 5-6 hours total, so I settle in with one of the handmade afghan made for the patients.  The chair is a recliner and one of the drugs, Benadryl type, makes me go to sleep.

My niece and great-niece, who brought me to the appointment, came to pick me up and take me home.  I felt, and still feel, great.  I am still a high risk patient for getting an infection or catching a bug that will make me very sick and I would have to be admitted to the hospital because of my compromised immune system.  Six days after treatment, though, my doctor prescribed me an antibiotic to take and by the next check up appointment, will determine whether I can stop it by my blood work results.  Last time, as you recall in my post, Good News at Check Up Visit, my blood work was very good and I could stop the antibiotic.  That article will also explain why I am a high risk patient.

So, my hair is pretty much mostly gone with just stragglers hanging on.  My SIL had made an appointment for me to get it shaved next Monday but seems that I probably don’t have enough hair for them to work with.  As luck would have it, our barber friend across the street saw me today without a scarf because my niece came a little early, which was great, and I just grabbed my scarf.  She had another very pretty scarf ready for me in the car from my sister.  So the barber saw me without my hair and came over to ask how I was and offered to shave the rest of my hair off, so I’ll take him up on his offer.  I will still keep the appointment, I think, but will probably get a manicure which would be really nice.  While I love doing my own nails, it’s nice to be pampered, don’t you agree?

Okay, so I had some books with me to read and one of them gave me inspiration for positive topics to write about.  So keep an eye out for a few of those posts.  Well, keeping this short tonight.  I still have to look for a nice feature picture.  My first move is to look in my own photos, but last resort is to google whatever I’m feeling and go by what’s available there.  I was going to stay up later, but eyes can hardly stay open, literally.  My sugar is a bit a LOT high from the steroid drug and I can’t drink enough water to keep that dry feeling away.