Sunday was a really good day. It really put the “Sun” into Sunday. Since my cancer treatment started with chemo, I decided to isolate myself from people. If you’d like to refresh on “why,” you can read about it here….. Anyway, after the chemo, the radiation side effects kept me pretty much glued to my house even though there was no longer a threat of getting sick. Then there were weeks that I said I was definitely going to church and that nasty side effect reared its ugly head and I stayed home. It was so easy to just stay home, too. Well, today I made it there, nothing bad happened, and I really hadn’t realized how much I missed going to Sunday mass. Things just seemed to gel together even to the point of a few favorite hymns being sung and I participated with that, too.
The music was beautiful, and my heart welled up with gratitude for the day, for being alive and able to enjoy something that is the same ritual every week, without losing my focus– well, for the most part. Times like this, I feel as if I am stretching myself out to the Lord with my soul held up for Him to see. I believe in the kind of prayer that is more of a feeling and not words. All my thoughts, worries and needs are in my heart and here it is for You to see, Lord. I found myself looking up towards the ceiling over the altar and everything just seemed so bright. I did enjoy the homily from a priest who, frankly, usually I would just get bored with and not “get” his point.
The amazing thing: Since this is “almost” the beginning of the Advent season, there is a Giving Tree, which is really a box, at the doors of the church with tags for gifts needed for someone who really needs a gift, with the item, needed, gender, and age. My heart was really right there, and willing but my pocketbook is not. Nothing in there, but I still wanted to just see, if there was something I could do to help out. I got caught up in going through the tags with two other ladies doing the same and all of sudden I realized that I couldn’t just walk away with not taking a tag. I felt horrible so I kept shuffling through tags that mostly requested gift cards and I just didn’t have the cash and knew that I would not have it any time soon… soon enough to commit myself to a gift. Then the next tag I picked up, read, “Purse, woman, 40 yrs. old.” Those words just jumped right out at me and I instantly remembered that I have a purse in my possession that is practically brand new as I only used it one time and just never did again, although I really love it and could not bear to get rid of it, and (of course) it matches shoes I have. I don’t know exactly why I hadn’t used it more, but I did decide to donate it this year to the Christmas Bazaar but missed the deadline by just a couple of days. Boom! Got my gift.
Personally, I could never ask for a purse from a stranger like this because I am so particular when shopping for a bag of my own, so she must really be in need for one. I sure hope she likes it and I do have a feeling it was meant to happen this way. So now, I still do need to look for a Christmas gift box large enough for this bag and have to get tissue paper. I suppose I could get a gift bag, but when I return this to the church, it will be schmushed in with all the other gifts returned. I like to place tissue paper peeking out the top of a gift bag, all pretty like; so a nice box would be a good alternative and then she can sort of have two gifts because the box, itself, will be really nice.
When stuff like this happens, I feel a sort of charge run through me. I always get to wondering at how life happens and plays out. How things just fall into place and I try to make the connections. Those two ladies were in front of me, picking up tags and putting them back down. We were all talking, asking random questions about the tags. One woman voiced a question about whether the gift cards needed would be on the tags or should we just donate gift cards. Yep, they had tags.
I feel so good right now!