Category Archives: Diabetes
Today is my Birthday and the weather is a little cloudy here, but very cool (so far) without discernable humidity and that is exactly the way I like it. I am waiting for the little one to make his poopies before going out. Normally, I would not wait, but this morning he’s been “meaningfully” standing by the windows and poopies seem to appear, coincidentially, right around the same time…. so we wait. The wait shouldn’t be too long, but he knows that I’m on to him and he’s been running from window to window, then to the back door, which is opened with the screen door locked.
I wish you guys can hear our chimes. I can hear them from anywhere in the house, though they are on the front porch. They are not those little tinkily ones. They are deeper, the sound richer, and they resonate deep inside me. Late at night, I can hear them faintly, but clear as a bell….. okay, it’s 2 hours+ later. Little Drake came in, pressing his diaper saying, “pee pee”. I took one look and it looked darker than usual down there and jumped up to get his diaper changed. It was pudding poopie. Is that a little too graphic for ya? Well, this is what us moms have for subject matter. Gave the baby chocolate pudding two days ago, and well, it revisited today. So funny. He kept calling it “dirt”. Then, my sister called to wish me “Happy Birthday” and stayed on with her for over an hour. Something that doesn’t happen too often because she works, but this is her day off. She was making sausage bread, but apparently, there was no chance that we would be bringing it over for my BD.
Another obstacle to enjoying homemade sausage bread is that I have an appointment tonight to donate platelets. Yeah, I know; but it’s my birthday! Actually, this would be something I very much want to do on my BD. It’s something special… and I get to go out alone. Plus, this just happens to be my Night Out Day. For those of you who do not know, I am a Platelet donor. They call it “Apheresis” and an account of my first donation is here. Today will be my second donation, but not because I haven’t tried. Because of my limited availability, I need to make an appointment well in advance; so this one was made over a month ago. When they called yesterday to confirm the appt, I made my next one, which just happens to fall on DH’s birthday. We will have plenty of time to do something for his day because he gets out of work at 2pm and my appt is not until 7pm. Our birthdays always fall on the same day of the week. How cool is that? Well, I think it is.
I think about our life, our little family unit life. We live a quiet existence from day to day. I note that I’ve settled myself down quite a bit after marrying DH. I look at those around us who are not so lucky and realize that if even any one of us were taken out of the equation, life would be so different and much less happy. I think that my and my baby’s life would be so different if “Daddie” were taken away from us. I would not have the luxury of staying at home and leisurely doing things with my son at a moment’s notice, or not like just staying home to chill out. In that cruel world, I’d have to work full time, with my baby in the hands of a stranger. I don’t even know how I’d be able to do it because my salary has never approached what I’d have to shell out for a caregiver; and NOW after not working for over 2 years what could I possibly make. My disposition would probably be a miserable one, rushing around everywhere, being short with my son or even lashing out at him. HE would be the prime and most vulnerable target to take the hurtful blows of a widowed wife, lashing out in her grief, anger and frustration. This perpetually happy boy would not be so happy any longer.
I definitely could write more graphic about other scenarios looming at the front of my brain, but refuse to because that is not the point right now. Today, above all days, I need to count my blessings. The first one being the birth of Debra Marie Sedita on June 12, 1961 in Brooklyn, NY. I used to think that my life was pointless and could never see where my life was going… or how I could be happy going wherever I was meant to go. Now, I can finally see through the mist, my course steady. I now have the information I need to steer my ship. I know now where I need to go; and for now, it’s raising a toddler boy… and an adult boy (at times!). For the first time in my life I know what I need to do… I need to do whatever it takes to make it possible for my boy to grow into the best man he can possibly be. Wow, that is a tall order! I gain more and more clarity every single day. I need to be supportive and present opportunities, where I can. Mostly, I just need to be true to myself and present that to my son. Be an example. It’s a 24/7 job… but I don’t look at it as being a job, it’s a life, it’s living. I need to teach by example, so focusing on my own life will, in turn, benefit my child. I am forever grateful for my life and what I’ve learned so far. In my short 46 years, I’ve learned so much and need to pass it on.
I shall close today with this beloved quote. Another beauty that has really shaped my life. If anyone knows the author, I would really appreciate if you could enlighten me.
I shall pass through this world but once.
Any good therefore that I can do
or any kindness that
I can show to any human being
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
Tonight I received a question about the last posted recipe. It was submitted by Chicks Love Chocolate and I want to thank her for asking… so if anyone else needs clarification, I have reposted her question here for everyone:
“Please let me know how to make this sugarfree! I am confused as to whether you added coffeemate instead of the half and half. What was the water about?
Chicks Love Chocolate”
Hi Chicks Love Chocolate! Thanks for stopping by and I’ll see if I can clarify what I did so that you can make this sugarfree.
The recipe called for half-and-half, so I wrote that down for people who want the full works. For myself, I use the powdered, flavored, sugarfree coffeemate to sweeten the Hot chocolate; and today, it was the Vanilla Caramel… YUM. Since discovering that people outside the United States do not use milk, but use water, I have started doing that in order to make my drink with less fat and carbs. I use 1/4 tsp. of arrowroot, per cup, to thicken it up and make it creamy… just as if I used regular heavy cream, without the calories. Oh, if you want more caffeine, you can use fresh brewed coffee instead of just plain water…. OR you can use at least a tsp. of instant coffee with the water.
Yep, that’s correct. The ultrasound confirmed that I am not pregnant. They performed a Trans Vaginal Ultrasound. I guess there is not much to say about it… I should have brought my laptop with me yesterday because I went for coffee after and probably would have had lots to say. I’ll try to get it down now, but it’s hard to concentrate and get into the emotions with a rambling baby in my ear all day long.
The technician said that my Dr would have the results in a couple of days… shoot, I had to jump in there and ask if there was a baby in there and was told ‘no’. My first impression was of immense sadness. Somehow I feel that this was my last chance to have one, given the diabetes and my age. Maybe when I get this sugar under control it could be a different story, but I worry about the age thing and growing high risk of numerable possible defects.
My DH seems unconcerned and maybe I should take his lead. His approach to life has always been so simple and always on the money. I wonder, however, if he might be protecting his right to the marriage rites of the bedroom. He has never been one to be irresponsible, but he doesn’t seem to be considering the consequences of getting pregnant…. HA… maybe it’s because I am not getting my period. That is another thing. I need to find out why. On the one hand I am hoping that it’s my changes starting and on the other, I grieve for the babies at my breast that will never be if that is the case. In any case, I won’t get close to him at least until I have the mammogram, which is in another 7 days…. whoa… he’s been without for a few weeks now and the only hint of desire I see is that little smile and twinkle in his eyes when he kisses me goodnite. He’s so good.
So now, I will be focusing on wrestling with this diabetes. I have decided to do it the Atkins way. As it is, my Dr is telling me to avoid carbs, white flour, and anything that is refined and that is basically what Atkins is. Yesterday I followed it pretty well, except at the very end. After my ultrasound, I went to get supplies from the pharmacy for testing my blood sugar, which was around dinner time. I figured that I would be in and out of there because all they had to do was check to see if they had them, then put two boxes of supplies into a bag, then I pay and leave. They checked the inventory when I dropped off the Rx, then was told it would be at least an HOUR because they had a lot of people waiting.. .well, I only saw one person waiting… okay, I know that people are roaming around the store. Well, they made me wait the HOUR… I was on the verge of tears because I was starving by then and afraid that I was going to have some kind of diabetic fit, shakes, or whatever. I really wanted to blow up at the clerk, but didn’t. I am very proud of myself, people! The bad thing is that there was a Wendy’s right next door and I flew in there and got a Frescata ham and swiss sandwich combo and ate all of it. Got a diet soda and only had a few sips of that, but ate all of the fries which is a NO NO.
Just remembered that I was an hour late taking my second reading! Scrambled to the kitchen, took the reading, it was pretty high. As I was writing it down for my Dr, I realized that I took the reading at the wrong time. It was supposed to be 2 hours after lunch, and not breakfast. SO. I had to call Bayer to find out if I could delete that reading because it would screw up the 14 day average number. By the time I got through, I could not delete that one reading, but could delete all readings, which I opted to do because there was only one other reading saved. Okay, so now I must remember to do it later. I will schedule my lunch so that I do my sugar after I put Gabriel down to his nap… which means lunch will be during the 12 o’clock hour.
Remember when you are on a diet, and especially with diabetes, everything is focused on food… what to eat, when to eat. I must eat on a regular schedule… and make sure that I have snacks, which is on a schedule, too. I am really hungry now, but have to wait… but at least my meal is already made. Dinner from last night was chicken breasts cooked in plain tomato soup. What I am a bit concerned about is trying to eat veggies that are low in carbs… I don’t think that is possible. I think that I have to eat lettuce for two weeks before I am able to incorporate other, more interesting veggies. I just “discovered” collard greens! I passed them by every week, but then decided to try them because they have iron in them. I downloaded a couple of recipes and noted that one serving has at least 10 grams of carbs. So while I can have it, half of my carb allowance will be taken. I used 8 grams already for breakfast with cottage cheese and cream for coffee.
I can see that I really need to learn everything I can about carbs, fats (good/bad), and everything inbetween. As you can imagine, I am cramming like for an important test. Books, internet info, food plans, etc. These next two days are really important because these readings will probably guide my dr as to what course of action to take as far as meds or insulin goes. I will be as strict as I can be these two days because I really do not want insulin and if she prescribes it, I will try to get her to allow me to try and control it with diet. Two more weeks or so should not make that much of a difference, especially since I am not pregnant.
I’ve told my sister about this, but not anyone else. I really should tell my brother because he is also high risk. Oh, another good tidbit is that I found out that I can still donate both, whole blood and platelets. I called up the Blood Center of NJ today and got that info. I might hit a drive soon as they are in need of my blood type… but then again platelets are needed, too… we’ll see. Maybe I’ll even wait awhile. It was through my platelet donation that I found out about my sugar; so not only is it saving other lives, but it could save your own in the process!
Gotta run and make a phone call!
My fantasy yarn project is completed! Very cool…. I must say, that there were NO fireworks, though….. just the fact that I finished it merits a pat on the back… the fact that my scarf/wrap will remain with me, merits a Yahoo! Remember when I started it, way back in December? I started it somewhere between this post, and this post.
In this pic, you can see that I am almost finished dropping all the stitches to create what is known in looming circles as the Matrix Stitch. You can see just how much wider the whole piece becomes after you drop the stitches. On the left, you can see the original width. This ends up being a really heavy piece of fabric. Oh, when you drop the stitches like this, blocking is not necessary…. very cool.
I was debating on what to do with the fringes. To fringe or not to fringe. I decided to fringe because I love fringes. Here is a pic:
I did not want an overabundance of fringes, so I put them only on the knit stitch matrix part. I decided to put one on each end of the “matrix”. I could not put only one on each one as the distance between them would’ve been too great. I still need to really size them up to make sure that all are as close to the same length as possible. Still, I am planning on wearing it to church tomorrow morning as I might be reading and want to look a little bit more dressed up than usual. Wow, you really cannot see the length here, but it measures a little longer than 70″, excluding fringe. Since it’s heavy, I am sure that gravity makes it stretch longer than that. I go overboard all the time because my mentality is, and always has been, more is better. Well, at least it’s mine and nobody needs to know that I just “winged it”. I still intend on taking another pic of it outside in full sun so you can get a nice idea of how it really sparkles and shimmers in daylight.
I should mention that nowhere online did I find instructions on how to do this. As a matter of fact, I do not think that you are supposed to do it after the fact of knitting it; but that is just me, doing something because nobody said that I can’t or shouldn’t. It worked out pretty well, so nothing lost and something gained. **~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Okay, I really didn’t want to make another post, but I want everyone to know that I am doing okay and getting used to the idea of being diabetic. I have not actually “done” anything yet, just reading what I can and getting ready mentally to take action. Don’t worry, I am not procrastinating because I really need to get every thing rolling by the end of next week. That is when my Dr wants me to call in two days of sugar readings. Also, I need to have a sonogram done by then to make sure that I am not pregnant so that she can Rx me medication.
Believe me, I want to get started quick, but to be truthful, I feel like I have no clue what to do… even though my Dr said that I should just avoid sugar and carbs. I bookmarked a diabetes site: American Diabetes Ass. & more importantly, Diabetes DIET from the Mayo Clinic. Finally, something substantial about food. This second site looks really useful…. feel free to check it out.