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Pinch Me to Let Me Know I’m Alive


Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You

Sugar & Spice

Sugar & Spice (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How does the old saying go — girls are “sugar and spice and everything nice,” and boys are “snips and snails and puppy dog tails”?

Aside from not knowing what a “snip” is, I don’t buy it; we’re much more complex than lollipops and unicorns and toy trucks and frogs. This week, we want a window into the complexity that is you. We want your best recipes.

ooh, ooh… I know what a “snip” is.  It means a little bit, a sliver of something.  Could be a snail OR a puppy dog tail.  I did not look that up, but it’s good enough.  I’ll have you know that the window into my mind has the shade pulled down.  You do NOT want to go there.  The complexity of me is the stuff of whirlwinds and headaches.

I am everything

and I am nothing.

I am your wildest dream

and I am your blackest nightmare.

I am soft and gentle

and I am hardcore without mercy.

I am dainty and pretty

and I am comfortably rustic.

I am a perfectionist

and I am the slob.

I am the unconditional lover

and I am the wall just outside infinity.

I am the calm before the storm

and I am the Perfect Storm.

Just because.

Next Stop, California


Daily Prompt: Far from Home

Tell us about the farthest you’ve ever traveled from home.

This story would be exclusively from memory when I was five years old and from one very clear in my mind image of a photo that was taken during that trip.  Otherwise, I’ve spent my life in NYC and Central NJ and have never traveled anywhere to speak of, aside from sort of local family day trips during the summers while growing up.  So, I’ve never thought of myself as a traveler, though I long to see more of these United States and Australia, Austria, Iceland, Alaska, and well, get the picture?  I’ve no desire to see foreign urban areas.  I long to see the majesty and beauty of this planet.  Oh man, especially the glaciers while they still exist.

All I remember from my “big” trip is that one day we (my sister and I) were told to get into my mothers’ aunts’ car and we all started out for California…. without my dad because he had to work.  It took us seven days to drive there with my two aunts driving, but not sure if my mother drove.   I remember my sister and I playing with those slide puzzles we got at rest stops and mine was a line drawing map of the Continental United States.  Of course I mastered that sucker right away!

The original Wooly Willy was manufactured by t...

The original Wooly Willy was manufactured by the Smethport Specialty Company in 1955 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I remember playing with that “Wooly Willy” man game where you used a magnet wand and created and placed the “hair” on Willy.  That was fun.  I remember stopping at various places to stay for overnight.  One was somebody’s house.  I remember my sister and I being left alone while the adults conversed outside.  I did not like that feeling of being left alone in a strange place and could not sleep… and this is how it was for the seven days of traveling.

When we finally arrived at our destination, a home in San Francisco, CA.  I was terribly shy and didn’t know these people, but they were my mom’s aunts and uncles.  I remember they had gifts for my sister and I.  One I can remember is almost exact same dolls, but one was blonde (and white), while the other had black hair and dark skin.  Ugh.  They thought that they were treating us equal.  I have very fair skin and my sister took after the Mediterranean side of the family.  This is how it always happened.  My parents had the urge to get the same item for us, but the difference was always either the hair or the skin… or like one Christmas it was a blonde PJ (cousin of Barbie) and Julia.

 

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My Creepy Crawlers to my sister’s Flowers and Things, those toys that created things like bugs and flowers.  You poured the goop into metal molds, then “cooked” it all up in tiny ovens (mom/dad supervised).  Anyway, I remember these dolls were very tall and they “walked” if you held their hands and sort of pushed them along.

There was a picture taken by our uncle out there, and I remember it vividly.  My sister and I sitting on a stoop outside, each of us holding a Sequoia pine cone.  I remember:  Tremendous.  So big, or so I thought, that I thought that I hid myself behind it as I hated to take pictures because I thought I was too fat.  Ugh.  I look at this picture now, and think I was definitely NOT even a bit chubby.  Just WHERE did I get that idea in my head?  I know, now, but that story doesn’t belong here.  I look at that picture and don’t see any evidence at all in my face of the turmoil I was experiencing… sigh.

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I also remember going to the San Diego Zoo.  I remember my sister and I sitting on a big boulder…… YEAH, that started moving!  It was a gigantic tortoise!  Might have been a Galápagos tortie, but not sure… but it was HUGE~!

I guess that’s it.  The next time I traveled was on my honeymoon when we took Amtrak down to Florida to visit more family.  We had a sleeper car and that was an adventure unto itself!  A couple of years ago, we again took the sleeper car but with our six year old son to visit the same relatives, but that was a different adventure.  He loved it.

 

Daily Prompt~


Daily Prompt:  Opposite Day

If you normally write non-fiction, post a photo. If you normally post images, write fiction. If you normally write fiction, write a poem. If you normally write poetry, draw a picture.

Soo,  I’m not sure what I write.  I can write a pretty mean fiction, but I’ve not done so in quite a long time… Same goes for poetry.  Okay, so this daily prompt presents a good opportunity to post some pictures of the wire wrapped pendants I have made.  It will always bother me that I took pictures without first polishing off my fingerprints from the stones.

Oh, as a last minute addition, I’ve included a painted tee shirt I made for my son to wear to school on Halloween.  This was kind of last minute as he didn’t want to participate the whole time, leading up to the day, then of COURSE the night before, he changes his mind…. SuperMOM to the rescue and he LOVED it~!  Such is the rewards for being a mom.

While I’ll not be drawing the pictures, I have created what is inside the pictures:

DSCN0105 DSCN0108 DSCN0594 DSCN0598 DSCN0600 DSCN0609 DSCN0615 DSCN0635  20120223-145934

Quick Facelift Update…


I’ve gone through my links and scoured away all the dead links.  Whew, there were quite a few. Next thing is to see if I can consolidate and clean up my category list.  Also on the agenda is deciding if I want to keep this theme.

I’d really like a gallery to showcase my jewelry creations, well, mostly wire wrapped pendants and misc. other types, but seems like I can’t put a widget on a page.  I really don’t want it on my side bar, so I think I need to search for another theme… or maybe see if I can make the side bar wider… but then I’d be taking space from my posts which need as much space as possible… I’ll see what I can do to stick it at the top… I’d really like see that.

Will You Remember Me ~ Daily Prompt


Daily Prompt: Singular Sensation

If one experience or life change results from you writing your blog, what would you like it to be?

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much to deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard 

I will remember you, will you remember me? 
Don’t let your life pass you by, 
Weep not for the memories 

Again got drawn in by my own thoughts on the subject.  I read “Will You Remember Me? over at Cheri Speak. Sorry about copping your title, but Sarah MacLachlan‘s haunting voice drifts through my mind when I think about the legacy I want to leave my boy when I’m gone…. Will you remember me?  It speaks to the part of my soul that wants to be remembered for something……. good.  

I’m wondering if he even knows that I write, that I love writing.  Would he be interested?  Would he care?

The reason I started this blog was so that my son who was born later in my life than I’m comfortable with, has access to his mother after her demise, whenever that should occur.  I had forgotten that somewhere along the line, but I suppose that the goal will always be met as long as I continue writing.

“If one experience of life change results from what I write in my blog,” it would be that my son reads this blog and something I say will influence him from beyond the grave to become a better person at some future fork in his life.  Wow, that could be a premise for a movie, no?

 

Time for a Facelift…


Image

I’ve been spending some time today on the wordpress site… I love it here… and have been checking out other blogs, particularly blog design.  I’ve changed themes over the years but not much by way of design.  I have absolutely no background in this area and consequently I fear the face of my blog is just a chaotic jumble.  My facebook widget does not work and the whole side of my blog, where facebook stuff should be, is a total black blank.  Ironically, this accurately represents me right now… no organization.  I’ve never really needed organization before and I liked it that way, damnit; but now I can see that I need it desperately inside this blog and out.  Not sure what I’m going to do, but I like the idea of several summaries of blog posts on the home page.  

Keep your eyes peeled for changes…..

 

Sweet Sixteen… 43 Years in the Making


Life is ComplicatedWhen you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?

Wow.  Something for me to think about.  In a way, my life has turned out exactly as I thought it would at sixteen, but the downside is that it took me just about 30 years to get here.

My life is a good one, but it definitely has not shaped up as I had envisioned way back when.  Growing up in the seventies did not provide hope to this sheltered, painfully shy girl.  I grew up with the understanding that all girls get married and stay home to raise a family, period.  Not one thought rested on the idea of going to college and having a career because back then the only career open to women was to be a secretary… or so I thought.  Career Day in high school didn’t have anything directed toward us girls.  I loved science, but was woefully inept in anything but the very basics in math.  I just did not get it and it was my understanding that to be able to do anything in science, you needed to be good in the higher math which was calculus, chemistry, geometry, ALGEBRA… Well, it was hard work, but I did eventually pass algebra and I needed a tutor to just pass geometry.  I just didn’t get it and that dashed my hopes of ever pursuing a career in the sciences.  So, with my illustrious science career raking in the coals, I turned my attention to the Domestic Engineer, meaning wife and mother to some very lucky guy… heh.

There was just one problem.  I was not high on the list of conquest for any male my age. Those suckers!  But I digress.  I did work at a series of clerical jobs, none of which I could deem “career worthy,” yet I managed to learn a lot during those years.  Lessons that I would carry with me throughout my life.  Well, to make a life long story short, at the age of 42, I finally met and married my husband and we now have a seven year old boy who, I’m sure, is the love of both of our lives… outside of each other, that is.  I have the life now that I had envisioned for myself–34 years later!   Ironically enough, I am a stay-at-home mom, but sadly looking for work at this time.  Back in the seventies it was the accepted norm… and expected that women would have their babies and stay home.  Now, after a couple of decades of women keeping their jobs after having babies, more women are returning back to the old ways of staying home with their broods.

I actually love being home.  My son is going to school full-time and I do have the whole day to myself, basically, to do whatever I choose whether it be cleaning or just writing this blog.  I volunteer at different places and last week I had that extra time to drive quite a ways to teach seniors how to crochet.  If I had a nine to five, I definitely could not do that.  I value my time and love to give it to volunteer where needed.  I spend a lot of time doing research on autism since our son was diagnosed with it when he was six years old.  However, I am in a position right now where we need me to go to back to work.  I find myself at actually another fork in the road, mentally.  I am loath to the idea for many reasons.  One being I feel I need to be home for the “just in case” something happens in school and I need to be called.  Huh?  Yeah, this is not something that would happen on a regular basis, let alone a tremendous long shot of it happening even once.  Another reason is that I am hating the corporate world right now and the devalued status of employees now-a-days, in general.  Everyone is dispensable.  Companies are almost looking for a reason to fire you almost as soon as they hire them.  Get the job done for cheaper, and no employee is safe from being cut from the ranks.  So this is the frame of mind I have right now concerning prospective employers.  On the other side of the coin, I really need to chip in right now and find a job that brings in some money and we also desperately need medical insurance.  This month, I’ve been putting in applications, taking online tests and what have .  I don’t have the luxury right now to take a part-time job.  DH is  Still, waiting for his degree from which the graduation is listed as Jan. 20th 2013 on the university’s registrars’ web page.  I know that we have not heard anything from the university, yet they have our money for graduation for over a semester now.  grrrr, another tangent.

As I look at all these words, I realize that no matter how confident I think that I am, I have fear in me.  My view of the working world out there is that they carry standards too high for me to live up to.  A lot has changed since I was a young person out there in the real working world.  A world that was and still is a very intimidating place.  Inside me I know that I have a lot to give, but freak out while wondering what an employer will expect of me now, in this day and age where youth is celebrated over the older, more experienced person… especially a woman.  I feel pressured to present myself in the youngest possible light and that is not so easy anymore.  I have more aches and pains than when I was in my 20’s, 30’s, heck even 40’s.  I have more outside-the-job responsibilities than I had back then, too.  I now have a school aged child that needs me at home when he gets here.  Back then, I could win an employer over with my receptivity of staying later than my quitting time.  I always stayed until I got the job done.  I just don’t have that freedom any longer.  Ah so, I’ll have to close.  I can ruminate about this all day, but I’ve got to let this go at some point.

Have a great day and keep warm!

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