I'm supposed to be hitting the books right now. I'm in the review stage of my studying, making sure I know what I need to know for the upcoming CSCS exam. I cannot wait to get certified. It's been the big reason why I have taken a break from this blog...from writing, really.
But then I saw this today:
I’m 39 years old. I’m the father of five-year-old twins, a husband, and a pastor. I’m tired – exhausted, even – much of the time. I routinely put in 50+ hour weeks between all three of my aforementioned responsibilities (in truth, more like 90+). I make a decent, though hardly lavish and at times barely adequate, salary. One day I hope to retire, but seeing that just about every penny that currently comes in goes right back out to our median-range mortgage, our cars (both run-of-the-mill Hyundais), utilities, groceries, our kids, and other basic expenses I’m not terribly optimistic.
Do you like being scared by books, films, and surprises? Describe the sensation of being scared, and why you love it — or don’t.
I most definitely do NOT like to be frightened or scared, much less do it to myself. I don’t have a good constitution for that. Literally, my nerve endings pop and seem to tear out of my skin at the very littlest thing. When did I first know? Oh, that would be in the woods. The music started rising, everything got faster and faster and louder and louder, then….. BANG! Bambi’s mother was dead….. off screen. It’s okay, my head was buried into the hood of my parka jacket long before that evil hunter murdered an innocent doe mom. I love Halloween, though; but hate zombies any way shape or form.
My body loves to be in a calm state. That’s just how it is. I won’t even watch violence on tv, though I did read “The Exorcist” and “Carrie.” I did “Carrie” on the big screen, but not “the Exorcist.” I love the subject matter, hate the pins-and-needles-through-my-skin excitement. Did I ever tell you that I’m a Gemini? Quintessential. What that means is that this post will fluctuate back and forth and when it’s all told, you won’t really know where I stand. No, I can’t really say that. I’m incapable of watching really violent movies or tv shows. I don’t watch or read mysteries, or pick up books with blood on the cover. I never read or saw a Stephen King book or movie. I really love Criminal Minds on tv, yet I can’t get through even half an episode without switching to another channel. I can watch Bones, though, and a new favorite, Blacklist.
I think there is too much violence, blood and gore, must too realistic blood and gore in the movies that children go see and what is put on tv. I’m sorry, but the generation of today is too brainwashed to know that they should not be watching this stuff. What is so great about zombies? Though I love that car commercial with the zombie in it, but that’s because it’s too crazy for me to think of a zombie having a civilized conversation and telling the sales girl that it’s not nice to place labels on people…. then his ear falls off and he admits that he IS a zombie… ha as if you couldn’t tell. That commercial gets me all the time and I laugh. Maybe this is how the powers that be desensitizes the public into believing zombies are “fun” and the next thing you know, babies are showing up all over the internet dressed up with zombie makeup. What happened to cute Halloween costumes for the little ones, younger than teenagers?
I wonder why people like to watch scary stuff. I mean, it’s not like there’s a decent plot except for maybe Stephen King puts out. Why do people like to be scared by Jason and the rest (as you can see, I’m not familiar with any of this type of pop culture, if you could call it “culture.” WHY does Hollywood resort to this sort of thing in the first place? Can’t they tell a decent story without all this crap? Why is it necessary? Oh, because people love to be frightened. Why? Are they missing something in their lives and this sort of thing reassures them that they’re still alive? Can’t that electrical alive sensation be gotten from somewhere else? It’s not even a good feeling, people.
You know, I don’t like those big rides at amusement parks, either. Too much adrenalin does not do my body good. I’m starting to feel sad for those people who need to scare themselves to death into this thing we call life. Hmm That’s kind of ironic, wouldn’t you say?
So, I’m sure there will be people out there who will take an exception to my musings today. I’m talking about the Horror genre. Maybe you can lay it out for me why you are attracted to scary movies, books and the blood and gore. Also, what about this late entry into the mix of adrenalin pumping rides that can be kind of dangerous yet we can’t be pulled away from riding them proudly dozens of times? What’s the draw to pay whatever you are paying to be scared?
- Daily Prompt: Fright Night (lifebeinggirly.com)
- Daily Prompt: Fright Night (jlroeder.wordpress.com)
- Why I love scary books and movies (curiousjac.wordpress.com)
- Thrills & Chills [Daily Prompt: Fright Night] (unknowinglee.wordpress.com)
- Fright Night (kate0murray.wordpress.com)
- Daily Prompt; Fright Night (terry1954.wordpress.com)
- Daily Prompt: Fright Night (itypecrazyfast.wordpress.com)
- Daily Prompt: Fright Night: After The Exorcist (bluejbluej.wordpress.com)
So I wrote a post yesterday on predominately “failing” friendships called, “Everything Has It’s Season.” I want to expand on one thought and it’s something I feel that is another part and should be said.
Once those needs no longer exist, then there is nothing to hold you bound to that person anymore. Some people can accept this and some people can’t.
What I want to say about this statement is that, yes, when a need is not there anymore, there is nothing to bind you to the other person; but what I did not say in my last post is that sometimes we choose to stay in the relationship because there are other things there that we like, love or admire about that person. I’m bringing this up because I had this happen to me when I realized that what had drawn me to a person was not there anymore or maybe never was. I still found things that were endearing and I was hanging on.
He was a man whom I had met and we shared a love for word games, puns, erotic poetry. He was over-the-top hilarious, but super, super intelligent. He was a base player in a raw rock band, hailing from Smithville, NJ. We it it off immediately and I also hit it off with his friends and bandmates. Could you ask for more? He was a giant of a man, but very gentle, honestly, a Gentile Giant. To hug I actually hat to stand a few steps on some stairs and he stood at the bottom. For some reason, though, he never invited me back to see him, and I moved on in real life. Over the internet, though, we continued to keep in touch. He was deliciously bawdy and we had a blast.
To make a long story short, eventually I did come to my senses. The problem was that, in his thirties, or early forties, he had no life goals and was not really working towards settling down. I, however, wanted to settle down. I was tired of not having a place of my own and needed some security. He had a great personality, and could make me laugh like I never laughed before, but he was going nowhere in life other than the wild life of a musician. When my hubby came along, I finally made the decision to move on completely. DH was serious about settling down and I was more than ready at that point to leave my own wild days behind me, so I cut the last string with Blue on Black Man and the rest is history.
A commenter of my last post brought up the point that de-friending people on facebook does not necessarily mean that they don’t want to be friends in real life. I agree with that, and that’s fine. It that were the case, though, I would appreciate that person just letting me know or just keep in touch other ways.
I read a great post today over at Making the Connections Blog called “Where Does the Good Go?” I recommend reading it for a really personal experience of struggling with making the decision to let go of a friendship.
- When You’re Surrounded By People, But You’re More Alone Than Ever (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Writing People Off (emilynolin.com)
- The 50 Best Quotes About Friendship (thoughtcatalog.com)
A friend of mine is de-friending me on facebook. She says that she’s just doing it without a word to me because she doesn’t want a “confrontation.” I’m wondering why she would think that there “would” be a confrontation. Facebook seems to give people the courage to say things they never would. The facelessness of it? The free announcement that is stated to be the least invasive as possible, no mess? I wonder why she is waiting to swing the ax.
Why does she not feel that she could simply ask me a question and get some answers to whatever is bugging her? I see this happen all the time. People feel slighted or get annoyed, then think the right thing to do is detach themselves. That’s not the right thing, but it’s the easiest thing. They can detach, then pat themselves on the back and go on with their lives thinking it was the only thing they could do and it makes them feel better, justified… and then, maybe it IS the best thing to do.
This is not meant to be a “bashing” post, so I’m not going to sling the personal issues around. I mean, there are always issues, right? I’d like to see if I could speak from the perspective of examining why friends won’t simply reach out to one another when they feel something just isn’t right, instead of going right to canceling the friendship. Maybe I don’t want to examine it. Maybe I just want to throw the question out there. I might find it hard to talk about it without drawing in the personal issues and speculation of said issues because that would just be one-sided.
Also, people would rather stay in a strained relationship for years, getting themselves sick; and yet they will not address their issues with their friends. What IS friendship? Does it have conditions? Is it supposed to?
Sometimes people are meant to just float in and out of each others’ lives. We need them, they appear, then they’re gone. Sometimes, no matter how close we think we are, or want to be, we simply are not. Life gets in the way. Economics certainly gets in the way sometimes if you do not live in the same neighborhood anymore. Maybe something like not being able to afford the trip is too embarrassing to talk about. Maybe a friendship seems one-sided when one person thinks they’re the one making all the effort with phone calls and what not. Maybe life puts you both on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Maybe life just makes you tired, and at the end of the day you want to isolate yourself from life and the problems it throws at your feet. Maybe you just don’t want to talk anymore. Maybe a friendship seems unsustainable when life throws in too many crowbars to enjoy it. Maybe because you feel that it’s all these things, that you have become contaminated friendship material.
Well, I’m not sure what I’ve done here, but what I am sure about is that I have a few certain needs like for once someone would seek me out to ask the questions they need to. I guess I’ve never had anyone come to me and ask me to explain myself. This is kind of funny to me because a lot of people have the attitude that “they are who they are and if anyone doesn’t like it, they can F’ off.” What is funny is that I don’t have a problem explaining myself to anyone…. if ONLY they asked the question…. and maybe a friend of mine would already know that….
Oh, I’ve had plenty of people get angry at me for various reasons, but never asked me why I had the position I did. Plenty of times I had to be considerate of other’s views if they conflicted with mine, and that was okay; but I’m a little tired lately that people will not do the same for me. It seems like people enjoy getting angry. People enjoy pointing out to you that you’re wrong about something and provide plenty of links that say that they are right and you are wrong.
You see, I’ve also taken a stand and don’t mind when people walk out of my life because for some reason they feel that they need to. I am not going to fight it because that is the way life works. People come and people go. People are with you for something you can do or give them, or for something they can do or give to you. One has a need and one fills that need. Once those needs no longer exist, then there is nothing to hold you bound to that person anymore. Some people can accept this and some people can’t. This happened in my first marriage. He was insecure and struggling through college on two levels, financially and academically. When he finally got his degree, he wanted a divorce. I supported him through his time in college emotionally and also contributed to our household financially. This also happens with regular friendships. Of course in most cases, this is not a premeditated thing. We don’t go into relationships thinking what am I going to gain from this person. Yeah, one person will suffer because they will feel hurt, but if you accept that this is the way of the world, eventually you will pick yourself up and shake the dust off your shoes and travel on. That might sound cold, but it’s still the way of the world.
- Save the friendship (lifeatdusk.wordpress.com)
- 5 Things That End Friendships, And Why That Just Might Be Okay (thoughtcatalog.com)
Wow, another nail post. I just wanted to document my latest attempt with the technique I used for my last mani design at, Dark Side of the Moon. I should also state that I found it on Pinterest, but you can go directly to Beauty Tutorials, Ombre Stain Nails. I should first state that the reason for my all-too-quick change up of colors is that I experienced major chipping yesterday and the first time, I did manage an excellent repair, the next day other nails chipped and they were BIG pieces of chipped off nail color. So, this could be because of the Seche Vite, I’m not convinced that it was because of it alone. If you remember, Seche Vite goes on very thick; BUT this was the first time it happened since I got the product, over a month ago. It could be a combination of SV and layered nail color, or maybe that I combined lacquer and enamel together.
I had the idea to use a dark brown cream for the base, with orange and dark green colors dabbed into it. I hated how it came out, except for me thumbs, which are longer than the rest of my nails. With this post I will also update on the “how many coats can I put on before Seche Vite stops working” question.
So, I started off with a favorite base coat, then used Kleancolor Nail Lacquer, Dark Brown #52 (Above, second from left). In the bottle, this looks dark brown, but on my nail, looked really dark, almost black. I love how this goes on very smooth. After my nail color was totally dry, I snipped another piece of my make up sponge and swiped on two colors, Kleancolor Nail Lacquer, Metallic Orange #160 (Above, left middle), and Wet n Wild Fastdry, SaGreena the Teenage Witch, #226C (Above, right middle)… then a third color, which I never do, but it blended nice with the green color and that was Wet n Wild Fastdry, Teal of Fortune. #228C (Above, second from right). This last one was a glitter polish. Okay, so on the whole I did not like this last finished product; though more because of my lack of skill and not the colors, themselves. As you can see, I left my thumbs as is because I loved how they came out.
I was gonna leave it, I was gonna leave it……..
But no. The itch to change it was too much. I resolved to just cover this up with one color and leave it. I used two coats of Wet n Wild Fastdry, Gray’s Anatomy, #237C, only on my last four digits. I really love how this stuff looks in the bottle. It’s a real almost sick green/gray with pink pearlized look. I really really like it, but alas, it did not coordinate well with my thumbs. I dared take another color, Sinful Colors, Leather Loose, #1331. This worked out very well and what I really like about this polish is that it dries to a matt finish, which I love, yet I don’t feel right if I don’t add a top coat.. and when you do, all these reddish brown sparklies emerge and gives it a whole new finished, sparkly look which was complete with yet another coat of Seche Vite. So let’s recap on just how much polish I have on my nails right now:
- Seche Clear as base coat
- Kleancolor Nail Lacquer, Dark Brown #52
- (not a whole coat) dabbed on colors on upper half of nails: Kleancolor Nail Lacquer, Metallic Orange #160, Wet n Wild Fastdry, SaGreena the Teenage Witch, #226C, Wet n Wild Fastdry, Teal of Fortune. #228C
- Seche Vite
- Wet n Wild Fastdry, Gray’s Anatomy, #237C on last four digits only.
- Sinful Colors, Leather Loose, #1331 on last four digits only.
- Seche Vite
So, that’s roughly seven coats of nail polish and Seche Vite STILL dried to a nice mirror smooth, hard shell in just a couple of minutes. That’s pretty impressive and so now you can see why I freakishly love this stuff and will always find a way to get it.
Please let me know what you think. Do you like my choice of colors?
- My obsession with Seche Vite and NOTD (tabassumsabirmua.wordpress.com)
- Rich Fall Nail Polish Colors from China Glaze, Seche and Salon Perfect (fortyflirtyfabulous.wordpress.com)
- mani therapy (shortandlovely.wordpress.com)
- Easy Chevron Nails (nearlynailedit.wordpress.com)
- Nail Stamping (doctorcrafty.wordpress.com)
- Nail Polish Guide: Seasons (bestofthebestbeauty.wordpress.com)
- Dark Green Nails (girlnextdoornc.wordpress.com)
- 10 nail polishes for fall (2013) (thegrassskirtblog.com)
- Nailed It (catherinehynes.wordpress.com)
- Fall makeup trends: The colors of the Season! (livethroughlyricsphotography.wordpress.com)
Yep, haven’t been here in a while, then TWO posts within 24 hours. You never know what’s going to happen over here. I’m totally unpredictable even to myself. Anyway, I just have to post about a new-to-me nail polish brand, an AMAZING new product I’m using, and my current mani. Maybe I can name this “Purple Haze” or “Dark Side of the Moon?” Opinions and any suggestions are most welcome. Please leave me a comment because I’d really like to document this design with the colors I used here.
Now on to this new-to-me amazing product I’m using, Seche Vite. It’s very popular out there, but a little hard for me to find in my area despite having quite a bit of beauty supply places around my area. Seche Vite is a quick drying top coat that is a must have for those who love to layer on the polish for intricate designs. I mean this stuff dries into a hard, smooth shell in a matter of literally minutes. My nails have ridges, so the surface of two or three coats of nail polish still have that ridge imprint. One coat of Seche Vite, albeit goes on pretty thick, eliminates the ridge look and creates a mirror smooth finish, and I freaking LOVE that~! I’ve not pushed the envelop yet to see how many coats I can get on, but so far, I’ve put it on over three full coats of nail polish and it gets pretty hard in that time. I can go to the bathroom (pretty big consideration) and not worry about wrecking my mani while in there. Usually, I have to put on two, three or more coats of just top coat to get this same effect. The smell of it reminds me of something else. It harkens me back to the old days of hanging around my dad while he worked on house renovation stuff and repair work. Varnish? Shellac? Not sure what, I’m definitely making my dad smell this bottle to solve the mystery. BTW, this little bottle cost me $7.99 in the Northeast Coast area of the United States and I’m glad I did buy it. You have to understand that I’m a $1.99 kinda girl, so this little bottle is THE most expensive polish I have in my storage box of nail polish. The highest I ever went was for something like $2.98 or a little higher for high end stuff on clearance, so……
My girlfriend told me about Seche Vite MONTHS ago and I did purchase Seche Clear, which doesn’t do the same thing, but is also good and I use it for either a top or base coat. It’s taken me this long to finally get the right stuff but now it will be a staple in my collection.
Now I simply must talk about the pink and purple polishes in the above pic. The brand is called “Ruby Kisses” and these bottles say “HD” on the label, which I am thinking it means showing dimension. The pink one is “Pink Blinged Out” and is beautiful and does show dimension; but the purple one, which is called, “Bold and the Beautiful”, while IS beautiful, is VERY dark and almost looks black under normal lighting. The pic above was snapped with a flash and this color was a total surprise to me; and in the sun, it’s more of a really dark Indigo. The most amazing thing about these is the coverage. You only need one coat for total, and I mean TOTAL coverage. My thumbnails are much longer than my other ones so I did need more polish for those, but still only needed one coat. What I also love is the unique tops. See the holes in the covers? These babies were hung onto racks. I want to say racks but I’m almost sure that was not what they were. You know, they were more like those long hooks that cosmetics are hung on to. In thought it was cool. Drumroll for the price……………… $1.98.
For for this mani, I used a base coat, then the ”Bold and the Beautiful” as my base color. After that was dry, I took a makeup sponge and swiped on Confetti in “Blue Bombshell” and the ”Pink Blinged Out” right next to each other and proceeded to just dab my fingernail at the top, pink color at the tip and blue underneath. The very dark base color made it hard for the other colors to show through and so I needed to reapply a couple of times. I never did get the opaqueness I desired, but I’m very happy with the results I got which were very subtle color changes in regular light, which were more apparent in sunlight. Also, I made sure the tips were solidly colored.
I think the next nail post I’ll do will be on the blogs and You tube nail channels I follow, so keep an eye out for that.
September 30, 2013, edited to add:
So, I just decided to name this mani “Dark Side of the Moon” and will use this label on my notes. Not for any reason, but that it just hit me. Nobody really knows what’s on the dark side of the moon, and now I know.
- My obsession with Seche Vite and NOTD (tabassumsabirmua.wordpress.com)
- 10 nail polishes for fall (2013) (thegrassskirtblog.com)
- Nail Of The Week #1 (bellameraki.wordpress.com)
- A Kiss on the Hand: Essence Sparkle and Sand Effect Nail Polish Review (beautybeautybeautylicious.wordpress.com)
- Zoya Nail Polish: Fall 2013 Satin Collection [Swatches & Review] (yulianasstyle.wordpress.com)
- Nails – Royal Purple (pearlsandparis.com)
I know, I know… It’s been SO long since my last post. Seriously, I’ve not been in the mood and nothing really happening to report on, that is, until now…..
The biggest news is that I FINALLY got hired somewhere after YEARS of searching for one. This happened last week but I’ve not been called in yet to start working. This makes me nervous but I don’t think I should be because I’ve filled out all the papers you fill out that very first day. All the Human Resources stuff. This was done, and took me almost the whole DAY to do because I was actually reading all this stuff. The company’s procedures, policies, etc. Thirteen sections… sheesh! What I really should’ve done was breeze through it and simply save all the actually documents and then gone through it at my leisure with a cup O java.
I must say that while I’m elated and grateful to have been hired, I can’t help but think that it’s STILL not enough to support my family. Minimum wage in New Jersey is $7.25/hr. I will be working part-time so I know that it’s feasible to get another part-time job but to be frank, I’m afraid I won’t be able handle keeping three work schedules, two of mine and DH’s. Wow. $7.25/hr. A far cry from what I’ve made in the past, but I’m grateful. I’ve been under a LOT of stress for over a year and this somehow makes me feel better. My worries now are not about getting a job but whether this family can hold it’s head above water…. But… I’ve got a job!
Not sure yet how I will divvy up my weekly, hey or bi-weekly booty but I’m just hoping that it will make a significant difference. Maybe towards the rent? Maybe towards a monthly bill? Maybe start a bank account? Maybe, just maybe I’ll have some left over for a slushie or coffee on Social Skills night?
Whatever happens, all I know is that I feel better.
- Lucrative Part-time Jobs for Teenagers (parenting.answers.com)
- The new normal on the employment front: Part-time jobs with no benefits (intrepidreport.com)
- Part-time employment rising as full-time jobs decline (thegazette.com)
- National Journal: Affordable Care Act actually looking pretty unaffordable (hotair.com)
Wow… seems that some people HAVE been reading~! Aw, this is my little guy towards the end of 2006. Oh wow, that made him a few months shy of two years old.
Sooo, thought I’d do something that I’ve never done before. I’m letting you know that I will not be anywhere near the internet for the next few days, into next week. My antenna will be up and hopefully I will return here with a post or two.
I’ve come across some amazing blogs lately and I will miss reading them, but looking forward to catching up when I get back. No major vacation or anything. We’ll just be in and out, visiting with family, like my dad who is only in Pennsylvania but might as well be in the Tasmanian desert, under a rock. We tried to get them connected, if even with just an email gadget to send/receive pics and keep in touch with email. Two months ago my dad FINALLY bought a laptop, but returned it TWO days later because he got frustrated getting the cable connection hooked up… Whaaaaaat? ugh. He really should’ve called someone who could walk him through this. Now he’ll never get one, grrrrrrr!
Tomorrow we will be visiting some of the in-laws. They are really nice people and we so rarely see each other. Just found out that one of the grandchildren has gotten bitten by the knitting bug. Knitting, crochet… all the same. It’s all fibery goodness. If you remember, I said that I needed to drastically cull my stash. This has proved quite the opportunity. So much I feel that I cannot part with, but because it was going to family, and a young person at that. Anything to nurture the craft. It was so easy to pick out yarn, the more expensive stuff. There is still a lot, I realized today, that I simply could not part with and I told myself, “I don’t know what she likes. I don’t know what colors she likes. I don’t know what weight yarn she likes to work with,” and well, you get the picture. I could go on and on rationalizing why not to put more in the box. I can’t wait to talk to this girl who I have watched grow up, but have never really spoken to. Her family has SHEEP on their farm, the dad is a master beekeeper…Biology~! Now THIS is the stuff I love to talk about. My brain will be tickled pink and I will be loving it. Yeah, I’m even bringing some knitting books. I just wish I knew remembered this sooner. I only had a couple hours to ransack my stash, but I have tons of patterns I could give her. Will just have to wait for another time. If I knew what tools she needs, I could also have put some of those aside. Yeah. Again, I am putting myself into the hero role… You know, like I’m the only one who can make this happen. You know, it’s ALREADY happening because she’s already knitting and maybe doing crochet. I hate my ego sometimes. Well, the times that it’s so obvious that I can’t help but see it.
One thing I want to see if I can do while away, but doubt it without the internet, is attaching photo credits to pics that are not mine. I never thought much of using someone else’s pics, but I realize that it’s just not right. I figured it was okay because the internet is so open, and I never claimed them for my own; but I was thinking today about how I never post my poetry for just this specific reason and it just hit me that I was doing the same thing and how wrong it really is to post without at least linking to the original site. Monumental task since this blog has been around since 2005. So, I apologize to everyone out there who has had their content stolen and credit misplaced to a stranger. I’m going to try to right the situation and will probably replace some pics with my own.
Have a great rest of the weekend and into the week. Meet ya on the other side…
- So … Crochet or Knitting? (ukcrochetpatterns.wordpress.com)
- So many knitting patterns….not enough time… (thequiethomeblog.wordpress.com)
- 34 Adorable Things To Do With Leftover Bits Of Yarn (buzzfeed.com)
- Yarn Along – Knitting and Reading (lieslmade.com)
- Emily Explains: Knitting with two circular needles (berroco.com)
- A Little More Knitting (libbygorman.wordpress.com)
- My indigodragonfly Obsession: The Greatest Love of All (secretlifeofyarn.wordpress.com)